“I didn’t ask for any of this!”
“We’re not having this conversation while you’re hotheaded.”
“God, and where the hell do you think I inherited that from? It certainly wasn’t my mom.”
“I brought a Christmas tree and some decorations. I cleared my whole weekend so we could celebrate early.”
What?That was the worst segue in the history of segues.
He pointed over to a tree in the corner that I hadn’t noticed. “How about we calm down and have a nice day full of family and cheer?”
“Bite me.” I wasn’t celebrating an early Christmas with this asshole. He was right. Christmas was for family and cheer. I had none of either. And I had no desire to celebrate Christmas a week and a half early just so he could celebrate the holiday on the right day with his legitimate family.
He sighed and looked at his watch. “Well, if that’s how you feel, I guess I should get going then.”
I certainly wasn’t going to protest. If he stayed much longer I might do something that made me deserve to be locked up.
“Merry Christmas, Brooklyn.” He shook his head and walked away from me. His cane echoing in the empty house each time it hit the floor.
As soon as the door closed, I thought I would break. I thought I’d fall to my knees and cry the rest of the day. But I just felt…nothing. I was numb, even though that was the feeling I was trying to avoid.
“Brooklyn?” Miller said as he approached me. “Are you…”
“I’m fine. It’s fine.” I wiped the remaining tears from my face. “I’m sorry that you had to see that.”
He didn’t respond.
“Let me clean up the sand I tracked through the house. Then I’ll make breakfast.” My voice cracked on the last word.
Instead of moving out of my way, Miller pulled me into a hug.
And I started crying. Big, chest shaking wails escaped my throat. I barely even recognized the noises as coming from me. I couldn’t breathe. “I’m sorry,” I said again, even though I didn’t exactly know what I was apologizing for. “I’m sorry.”
He just held me. He let me fall apart in his arms. He let me soak the front of his shirt with tears and snot. And he didn’t let go.
Why was I even crying? I was pissed at my dad. I didn’t believe a word out of his mouth. None of it. But the pictures? Kennedy was happy. Felix was happy. Matt…he looked happy. Happy without me.
I was drowning. Every day it felt harder and harder to come up for air. And Matt was hanging out with his friends. Hanging out with other girls. Smiling. Laughing. Living. And I was dying. Slowly dying missing him.
“Take a deep breath,” Miller said as he ran his fingers through my hair.
I knew I was just having a panic attack. I knew it and yet…it didn’t feel like that. It felt like my life was ending. And a part of me wanted it to. My heart hurt. My whole body ached.
“Breathe, kid.”
But I didn’t. I just kept sobbing. And I clutched Miller like he was my lifeline.
Runaway - Chapter 16
1 Week Later - Saturday
Miller cleared his throat.
I’d felt him staring at me from the deck for a long time. Or else he’d been watching the sunset too. And the stars light up the sky. I wasn’t sure he was brave enough to venture out to the beach to talk to me. Not after he saw how crazy I’d acted last weekend when I snapped at my dad. Or how cold I’d been this week. I felt like getting close to him was a betrayal to Matt. So I was pushing him away. And now I felt more isolated than ever.
“Do you want to come inside?” Miller asked.
“No.” My teeth chattered. I thought he’d walk away, but instead he sat down next to me.
