He shrugged. “You never know.”
No, I did know. I wouldn’t be needing any of that. I pushed it aside. “But what are all the other boxes?”
“Most of what’s out here was just some stuff that was boxed up already. Some old things, I think. They were in the back room.”
Oh.It was mostly stuff from high school. Stuff I hadn’t look at in ages. “I don’t need any of that either.”
“You never know,” he said again.
Jacob opened one of his boxes and pulled out a toy truck. He started zooming it across the floor.
“There is one more thing I arranged,” Tanner said. “I met with Miller’s lawyer and…”
“Miller didn’t have a lawyer.”
Tanner lifted an envelope off one of the boxes. “He did.”
When had he met with a lawyer?
“He left you everything. No fine print or anything. It’s all yours.”
I nodded. “Okay.” I stared at the envelope he was holding. “So…what is that?”
“He wrote you something. It was with the will.” He handed me the envelope. “How about I play with Jacob and you can read it somewhere in private?” He didn’t wait for a response. He turned to my son. “Trucks? Don’t you have a limo in that box?”
Jacob laughed. “No. But you can use this truck if you want, Abuelo Tanner.” He handed the truck he was playing with to Tanner. And then he went to the box to grab another.
“Abuelo?” Tanner asked.
“Yessie,” Jacob said and sat down. “You’re Mommy’s family. So you’re my abuelo. Or my…aunt? Like Aunt Kennedy?”
Tanner laughed.
“Jacob,” I said. “Tanner isn’t…”
“No, it’s okay,” Tanner said. “Abuelo Tanner works for me.” He pulled off his hat and put it on Jacob’s head. “I don’t mind. I’m an old soul.”
The hat slid down over Jacob’s eyes. He pushed it back up. “I’m not allowed to talk to my other abuelo. Mommy won’t let me.”
“Why do you want to talk to him?” Tanner asked.
Jacob shrugged, just like he did when I asked that same question. And then the two of them started to play.
For a second I just stood there and watched them.
It was such a normal moment in our house. Jacob playing and laughing. But it all felt foreign to me.
I never got to say goodbye to Miller. I never got to tell him one last time how much I loved him. How grateful I was for him being patient with me. For giving me the life I always dreamed of. For loving me when I was a mess.
And I had a feeling that this was a goodbye from him.
I didn’t want to read it.
I didn’t want to say goodbye.
I just wanted to close my eyes and for this all to be a terrible nightmare.
But I wasn’t waking up.
