Tanner opened up the door. Both he and Nigel strolled in. Tanner handed me one of the glasses of scotch he was holding.
“A peace offering?” I asked.
“Just a boys’ chat.”
I stared at him. “That’s not a thing. I’m pretty sure it’s a girls’ chat.”
“But we’re men and we need to talk,” Nigel said.
“Okay. I’m guessing this is about an apology?”
“You can apologize to us later,” Tanner said. “But first…”
“I’m not apologizing to you. You should both be apologizing to me.”
Nigel shook his head. “All I did was try to bathe you.”
“That actually sounds worse than what it was,” I said. “But that’s not what you need to apologize for.” Or maybe it was. I didn’t even know anymore.
Tanner took a sip of his drink and then set it on my nightstand. “You’re really angry that I’m trying to help you find true love?”
“You’re trying to set Kennedy up with Felix. That’s not true love.”
He sat down on the edge of my bed with an exaggerated sigh. “Matt, you can’t give your heart to Kennedy.”
“I already did.”
He shook his head. “It’s impossible. Because I know for a fact that you’re still in love with Brooklyn. And you can’t love two women at the same time, despite what reality TV wants you to think.”
“Brooklyn’s dead.”
“That doesn’t mean those feelings just vanish.”
“You think I don’t know that? What the hell do you think I’ve been doing for the past 16 years? And I’m finally happy and you…”
“But are you finally happy?”
“Yes…”
“You can really get down on one knee and propose to Kennedy? Let her walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’ to her? Father her children? Have a whole life with someone when your heart still belongs to another?”
“I love Kennedy.”
“Maybe on some level you do. But she isn’t the love of your life. And saying that you love Kennedy doesn’t answer my questions.”
He didn’t need to tell me that. His questions were stuck in my head now. Could I really get down on one knee? Marry her? Have children with her? When I still loved Brooklyn? I just stared at him.
A smile slowly stretched over his face. “You see…I’m the voice of reason,” Tanner said.
“I don’t think that’s a phrase that suits you very well.” But his words were tumbling around in my head. Not the voice of reason garbage. But all those promises I’d be making to Kennedy if I proposed. All the promises to Brooklyn I’d be breaking. I’d said goodbye to her at her gravestone. I thought getting the ring back would feel like a piece of my heart was back too. But…was it?
I’d been so sure a few days ago. But with Kennedy pushing me away and now Tanner’s stupid words in my head… Earlier he said it wasn’t true love. That it couldn’t possibly be. I don’t know why he thought he was an expert on any of this. He definitely was not.
But…was I actually over Brooklyn?
I took a sip of my drink.
Could I ever give someone else my whole heart?
