So we were back to pretending I’d willingly saved him?Great.“I’m all better. So I was thinking. Since you and Miller both know I’m alive…couldn’t we tell like…two more people? I think Matt and Kennedy deserve to know where I am. They can keep a secret. If you’d just let me explain to them…”
“I’m not calling to negotiate. I’m calling to let you know you’ll be moving to the secure location tomorrow. Miller will be escorting you there. You’ll find everything you need once you arrive. Your virtual classes will start on Monday. Everything is all set up for your new life.”
I swallowed hard. I didn’t want a new life. And even though I didn’t know my father very well, I could tell by his tone that he was serious about not negotiating. “So it’ll just be me and Miller?”
“I’ll visit when I can get away. Don’t worry, angel.”
I tried to think if I could actually do this. Be good and stay put for the rest of the school year. Just until Isabella was off to college. It wasn’t that far away. Six months until she graduated from Empire High. It would keep Miller safe if I just…accepted my fate. But what was Matt doing? Was he falling apart too? It wasn’t right to let him mourn me when I was right here still breathing.
“I can’t do this to Matt. Dad, please. You have to let me speak to Matt. You have to.”
“Once it’s safe…”
“So just until Isabella goes off to college?”
“Or five years or so. We’ll see.”
He’d said that before. But I was hoping he was joking. I could already see six months turning into a year. A year turning into five. And five turning into forever.
I thought about how strong my feelings for Matt were. He felt the same way about me. I knew he did. “What if you tell him he has to move far away with me? If you told him the circumstances, he’d come with me. He’s not just some random guy I was dating. We’re engaged. He loves me.” I’d follow that boy anywhere in the world. He’d follow me too.
“For a young man in mourning, he certainly seemed eager to have the ring back.”
I swallowed hard. “What?”
“The first thing he said to me when he found out you were dead was if he could have it back. Because he still wants to get married one day.”
“You’re lying.”
“Why would I lie about that? He was never good enough for you. I tried to warn you. It’s better for you to know the truth now than to find out years later.”
I shook my head. There were a million reasons why my dad would lie to me. The first of which was that he was trying to control me right now. What better way to control me than to tell me I left no one and nothing behind. That he was the only one who cared about me. Well…fuck that. “I don’t believe you.”
“Do you see the ring on your finger?”
I didn’t bother to look down. I knew what was missing. My hand felt lighter. It bothered me every day. I clenched my hand into a fist. But now it somehow felt heavier too. Like there was some truth in my dad’s words. My whole body suddenly felt heavier. Like the ground was about to collapse beneath me and swallow me whole.
“You’re lying,” I said again. But tears were streaming down my cheeks now. I didn’t want to believe him. It couldn’t possibly be true. He’d put the smallest ounce of doubt there though. And it felt like it was strangling me. “Please, I need to speak with him. Please.”
“I love you. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you. And I’m glad that this is protecting you from that boy. He never would have been worthy of you.”
It wasn’t about being worthy. It wasn’t about worth at all. Matthew Caldwell made me feel…loved. He made me feel whole. He’d promised me forever. I’d promised it back. Matt was myhome. My heart. My everything. The tears streamed down my cheeks even faster.
“I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“Wait. Did…did Matt say anything at my funeral?” My dad said that a funeral for the living was a great way to see who truly cared about you. Surely Matt had said something beautiful. Surely he was as devastated as me right now. He had to be.
“I asked him to make a speech. He declined.”
What?How could Matt say nothing at all? He was my fiancé. Our forever had been cut short. How could he have no words? The doubt was definitely strangling me now. I could barely breathe.
“He said he’d said everything he needed to when he last saw you.”
My father’s words stabbed me in the chest like a knife and twisted. I gasped for air.
“I need to go,” he said. “I’ll visit you as soon as I can. I love you, angel.” He hung up before I could even respond.
My plan had been to try to sneak in a call to Matt. But…I couldn’t breathe. I dropped the phone on the bed and turned away from the nurse.
