“I didn’t leave!” I didn’t know why I was yelling at Kennedy. None of this was her fault. “I didn’t leave,” I said more quietly.
“I know. Your dad forced you to stay at that safe house. But… years of your life were missing from your note, Brooklyn. Why didn’t you come back when you escaped? Why didn’t you come home?”
“Home?” I took another deep breath. That word hit me like a punch in the gut.Home.I used to think Matt was my home. But I was wrong. About all of it. And now I was standing in the middle of Central Park desperately missing my actual home. The one I’dmade with Miller. I tried to blink back my tears. What the fuck was I doing here? Tears started to stream down my cheeks.
Kennedy leapt to her feet and embraced me in a big hug. “I’m sorry. I’ll drop it. I’m so sorry.”
I hugged her back. “I’m sorry too.” As far as I was concerned, those were the words I’d needed to say all these years. I owed them to her and no one else.
I never should have come back here. Jacob and I needed to go home.
***
There was no reason to stay on the run. My father said my name was clear. And I didn’t want to go to Canada and start over. I loved my home. Miller had wanted to raise Jacob there. So that’s what I was going to do. I was going to raise our son where Miller’s memory would be all around us. That’s what he would have wanted.
I crouched down in front of Jacob. He’d just woken up from his nap and I could tell he was still a little sleepy. “Hey, sweet boy,” I whispered and ran my finger through his hair.
He closed his eyes again, like he was as upset to face the day as I was. But he’d be better once we were home. We both would be.
I looked over at Kennedy. She didn’t need to say it. I could see it all over her face. She was disappointed that I was leaving. Or maybe she was just disappointed.
But she knew how hard loss was. She’d lost her father. She knew how twisted up my heart was. And I couldn’t be here in this city where memories made me feel even sicker. I just needed time to heal. Maybe I’d be able to open up about everything to her in time. Just…not right now.
I ran my fingers through Jacob’s hair again. “It’s time to go home.”
He finally opened up his eyes. “Nooooo,” he said, in the adorable, drawn-out way I loved.
“It’s time, Jacob.”
“Noooo.”
I wasn’t expecting this response. I thought he’d be happy. “You’ll get to sleep in your own bed.”
“Noooo.”
I pressed my lips together. Was he thinking about how hard it would be to walk through our front yard ever again? Because I was. I knew it would be hard. But we were strong. We’d get through it. We’d remember the good, not the bad. “You know, I was thinking, when we get home maybe we can get you a pet. Something snuggly.”
“Noooo.”
I thought for sure he’d be excited about that. He loved his stuffed animals. And I thought some extra noise in the house would do us both good. “Sweet boy, we have to go home.”
“I want us to stay here with Aunt Kennedy and my abuela.”
Abuela?I looked over at Mrs. Alcaraz. She pressed her lips together and quickly turned back to the stove. Had she asked him to call her that? It made my heart ache a little less. Jacob hadn’t gotten to know my parents or Miller’s. As far as I was concerned, my father would never meet him. Mrs. Alcaraz had always treated me like her own daughter. She was the closest thing Jacob would ever have to a grandmother. And it all just made me…want to curl up in a ball and cry.
God, this was all just making it harder to go.
“We can’t stay here,” I said. “We have to go home.”
A spoon clattered in a pan and I looked up. Mrs. Alcaraz was staring at us. “No,” she said firmly. She wiped her hands on her apron and walked over to us. “Mi amor.” She put her hands on both sides of my face. “I mean yes. You both stay here. With us.”
“I…we can’t inconvenience you like that,” I said.
“We’re family. This is home.” She patted my cheeks before letting go.
“But you don’t have room for us…”
“I’m actually looking for a new place,” Kennedy said, cutting me off. “So there will be an empty bed here soon anyway. Might as well not let it go cold.” She smiled at me.
