“Miller.” I wasn’t screaming anymore. All I could see were flames. I didn’t see my husband. I couldn’t see my husband. “Miller,” I sobbed. “Miller.” The car blurred in front of me. “Miller.” All I could see were flames. The heat on my face. The smell of burning. The smell of death. “Miller.”
I pushed myself up and ran back to the car. I saw Miller through the flames then. Or…what was left of him. Slumped over the steering wheel.
No.All I could smell now was the burnt flesh. It was like I could taste it in my mouth.Death.The smell of death all around me, suffocating me.
I tried to reach into the car but twisted metal and debris were in the way. “Miller!”
He didn’t move. He didn’t respond at all. And I knew there was nothing left in him to respond. He wasn’t there. I felt it in my bones. He wasn’t with me anymore. He was gone.
No.My tears burned my eyes and I tried to reach into the car again.
My forearm hit one of the bent pieces of metal and it scorched my skin.
I screamed and for the first time I could hear myself through the ringing in my ears. Broken sobs ripped through my chest. “Miller!” I screamed.No.
He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t. I needed him. “Miller.”
I needed him.
“Miller,” I choked.
I don’t know how I ended up on the ground again. But I knew I was kneeling there, because Jacob grabbed both sides of my face, his little hands spreading my tears on my cheeks. His tear-stained eyes finding mine. “Mommy,” he said in an eerily calm voice. “Go bags.”
Go bags. Oh God.Oh God.
My father had found us.
He’d made good on his promise.
Miller was never supposed to touch me.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. Like I’d screamed on the beach all those times. Like I’d screamed a few months ago when I couldn’t get pregnant. But I screamed louder.
Because this felt worse than losing my mom.
Worse than losing my uncle.
Worse than losing my life back in New York.
This was losing everything.
My heart.
My soul.
My home.
I’d lost loved ones before. And it always felt like my heart was breaking. But this time was different. This time my heart was burning. Like my chest was on fire. Scorched, never to beat again. No pieces to put back together. It was gone. A piece of me died in that car with Miller.
But it was like I could hear Miller’s voice in my ear.
Run.
Run, kid.
So I grabbed Jacob, holding him as tightly to me as I could, and I ran.
Runaway - Chapter 56
