“I was forced into it. It doesn’t matter that our discussion was a misunderstanding. You still tricked me. You sought me out after 16 years of ignoring my existence. All because you needed a kidney!” I slid away from him on the bed so he couldn’t touch me. “You made me believe that you loved me!”
“I do love you.”
“What’s the point of lying now? Do you need my liver too?”
“Brooklyn. I love you so much. And I hate to admit it, but I never sought you out. I never even knew you existed. Your uncle’s lawyer came to me. Because I’m your legal guardian. Do you really think I wouldn’t have found you sooner if I’d known you were out there?”
“Yeah, which goes back to the whole thing with how you wanted my mom to abort me. Don’t sit there and pretend you give a shit about me, Dad.” I put a scathing emphasis on his name.
He pulled his eyebrows together. “I loved your mother. I still love your mother even though she’s gone. I made some terrible mistakes when I was younger. Trust me, I don’t need you to remind me. But I never sought you out because I needed a kidney transplant. It was a happy coincidence that you fell into my lap. And yes, of course I thought about it when I found out you were alive…”
“Which is why you were so overly protective of me. And concerned about my health. And why you wouldn’t let me live in a bad part of town with Kennedy and her mom.”
He shook his head. “That wasn’t why I brought you into my home. It had nothing to do with that. I love you because you’re a piece of me and I will do anything in my power to keep you safe.”
“By cutting me open?”
“I thought you were giving me your kidney willingly. Because I’m your father. Because we were a match. Because you’re wonderful.”
I shook my head. “I’m not an idiot. All those tests you ran on me that first day when you locked me in that apartment? You were testing me to see if I was a match right away. Don’t sit there and lie and pretend that wasn’t the first thing running through your head.”
“No.” He stood up. “You know what the first thing I thought when I found out about you? I was ecstatic. I’ve regretted leaving your mother every single day since she left New York.”
I couldn’t even look at him. He was lying. He was a dirty fucking liar.
“And when I met you? All I could think about was how much you looked like your mother. And it was hard to look at you.”
I remembered being shoved in the back of his car. He’d acted distant and aloof. Had he really been struggling to look at me?
“And I knew that as soon as I brought you into my home that my life as I knew it would be over. The life I’d chosen over a life with your mom. And I did it anyway. Because I love you.”
I just stared at him. I didn’t know what to say.
“I didn’t think of the transplant at all. My whole world was turned upside down. I called Dr. Wilson because I saw where you were living and I figured you hadn’t seen a proper doctor in years. And yes, I wanted a paternity test. But as soon as I saw you…I knew. I knew you were my blood. Dr. Wilson ran the extra tests without me even knowing it. Apparently he assumed the worst of me too.” He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked completely distraught.
But I couldn’t tell if it was all an act or if he was being sincere. I wanted to believe him. Because he was standing there telling me he loved me. And I didn’t have anyone left in my life that loved me.
“Please don’t cry, angel.”
I tried to wipe away my tears. “If you had just asked me…I would have said yes. I don’t want to lose you too.”
“I’m so sorry.”
I would have given anything to save my mom. My heart was so broken when she died. I’d remembered thinking that if my heart was going to break anyway…that I wished I had given it to her to save her. I never thought I could keep going. But here I was. My heart was still beating. Still broken, but still beating. I wished my mom was here right now. She was so good at reading people. She’d know if my dad was telling the truth. I stared at his face. She’d loved him once. She trusted him once.
But so had I. He’d betrayed her trust and now he’d betrayed mine. I looked down at my lap. The last words I’d said to Matt were hateful. I’d pushed him away. I couldn’t afford to push my dad away too. I wiped away the rest of my tears and stared at him. “Are you feeling better?”
He smiled. “A million times better, thanks to you. I feel like a new man.” He took a deep breath. “But we need to talk about you and the fact that you haven’t been eating.”
That nurse was such a traitor. I’d eaten some applesauce! “I was upset. With you. Why would you just leave me here without any connection to you or the outside world for over a week? I’ve been going crazy. And have you seen my ring? Did Dr. Wilson take it off before the surgery?” That was what I’d been hoping. That Matt didn’t come take it back while I was unconscious. That it was just missing. A missing ring was better than one that had been taken back.
“About that. We have something we need to discuss.”
I pressed my lips together. “Did Matt…did he…” my voice trailed off. “Did he break up with me?”
My dad reached out and grabbed my hand. “It’s over, yes.”
What?“But…I need to talk to him. Can I borrow your cell phone? If I could just explain…”
