I’ve experienced it before, but it doesn’t make it any less scary.Each time, I’m filled with the fear that the air won’t come.That this time, I won’t survive it.That I’ll never be able to take another breath, and I’ll die here just like this.
Then Deeds is there.He pulls me up to my knees.Lifting my hands, he inspects the damage.“What the fuck, Lily?What happened?”
“I can’t breathe,” I rasp.
He grabs my chin, gently turning my face up to his.When his eyes meet mine, alarm floods his features.“You can’t breathe?”
Grabbing his shirt, I shake my head frantically.For a minute or two, he just holds me, his grip firm and reassuring, as I suck in what little air I can find.But my chest burns with white-hot agony.
I hear a thud and glance behind us toward the club’s front door.I freeze when I see the figure in black standing there, watching us.
I’m not crazy.This is real.He’s fucking real.
Deeds’s gaze follows mine.Something flickers in his eyes, and a dark understanding passes over his face.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”His voice drops low, the realization sinking in.
I can’t answer.But I don’t need to.My silence, my tears, my inability to breathe—all of it speaks volumes.
Deeds’s jaw clenches.His fingers twitch as if he’s barely holding himself in check.
“I thought he was dead,” he mutters, the venom in his voice palpable.
The words tear from me, brittle and shaky.“He’s supposed to be.”
CHAPTER 2
A scorned woman is a beautifully dangerous thing.
APRIL 2007
From the parking lot across the street, I have a clear view of the two-lane road leading up to the strip club.I’ve been sitting here for hours, waiting for the moment when the past comes riding back into my life.
But Finn is once again missing in action, and once again, I’m left wondering where in the hell he could be.As I wait, it’s all too easy to let my mind drift back to the days upon days where I did this exact same thing—paused my life for Finn.
I was three weeks from turning eighteen, full of hopes and dreams, when he went off to play hero.
For months after he left, I worried myself sick.Held out hope he would show up or send a letter, a fucking email—anything.
It took months of silence before I’d had enough and started searching for answers.
I’d been led to believe that, like so many other soldiers, he died while serving our country.The news had crushed me.Made my life barely worth living.Until I saw him alive and well with my own two eyes nearly five years ago, and realized the joke was on me.
At some point over the years, he’d traded his fatigues for leather and one brotherhood for another.And while I’d been doing anything I could to survive and forget the love I found and lost, he’d been partying, banging a slew of women, and drinking as much alcohol as his body would let him consume.
See, I’d had it all wrong.I wasn’t the girlfriend of a dead soldier.There wasn’t some remarkable man up in Heaven watching me, waiting for me.I was just someone he cared for once, and left in the dust of New Mexico.
He’d made it out alive… and me, well… I’d been abandoned.
The knowledge hurt, and it also hardened me.Made me critical of all my faults.If I couldn’t be loved, I’d be wanted.Desired.Envied.Feared.A weapon dressed in satin, lace, and perfume—perfect in every conceivable way.Talented.Beautiful.Fierce.
Turns out, men will pay dearly for the attention of a woman who doesn’t flinch at her own reflection, who owns her sexuality, and keeps them guessing.And nothing pays better than rich and powerful men with dirty secrets, which is where I found my niche.A short game, and a dangerous one.But backed by the most notorious motorcycle club in the country, I didn’t just survive—I carved out power and profit on my own terms.
This job, though, isn’t about that.It’s not about the money.It’s about paying back a debt no amount of money can repay.
Years ago, Deeds had helped me rescue my sister and kill the monster who’d invaded my childhood home.My Stepfather.A man who’d made my teenage years a living hell, to the point I’d run away at sixteen.Together, Deeds and I made sure he’d never lay his hands on another child.Then we found a lovely family to take in Lacy, and over the years, with the money I earned working for the GBs, I ensured she not only recovered but thrived.
Now, Deeds needs me to repay the favor.To do that, I have to sneak back into the life of the man who left me.Use my skills and my old connection with Finn to infiltrate the HOCs, discover how deeply their ties run with the Thirteen Devils, and figure out who among them might not be as loyal as they seem.
