The daydream spins a little darker as I envision a different scenario, her beneath me, fucking her in a way that’s not sweet or soft.Giving her all of me and watching her fall apart.
My balls fucking tingle.My mind runs wild with this part of the fantasy.I thrust and fuck into her, as deep as I can get, over and over again until she comes undone and cries my name.
I’m jerking myself hard and fast.An avalanche shifts, and a rumble of pleasure vibrates through me.Like a genie escaping a bottle, my orgasm erupts.It’s liquid bliss as far as I’m concerned, ribbons of cum shoot out from my tip, landing across my chest and funneling over the head of my cock.I keep pumping as it goes on and on, an endless fountain because it’s been too fucking long since I’ve felt anything like it.I ride those waves of pleasure until they slowly recede, leaving me a blissed-out state.
I’m not sure how the daydream wielded itself into a motion picture inside my head, but it did, and sure as fuck took on a life of its own.
Two abrupt knocks at the door startle the shit out of me.I scramble off the couch as muttered curses spill from my lips.
Fuck.“Be right there.Just, uh… give me a sec.”In the kitchen, I wash my hands and grab a towel, quickly wetting it to wipe myself down.I button up my jeans with hurried fingers as I head to the front door.
Deidre, one of my tenants, stands on the other side of the door, sporting an all-too-knowing smirk when I open it.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”she asks, peering over my shoulder for a split second, even standing a little on her tiptoes to see around me.
I comb my hair away from my face as concern floods me.“Hey, Deidre.What’s up?Something broken at your place?”There’s always something breaking in one of the units, and since I don’t trust property management companies anymore, not after what happened with Dad’s place, I’m left holding the bag when shit goes awry.
But being a landlord has its perks too—a steady stream of income, neighbors I handpick, and helping people like Deidre.
When I pull the door shut somewhat behind me, it forces her to focus on me instead of her search for the woman she thinks is in my apartment.Honestly, it makes me a little uncomfortable as her eyes travel over the expanse of my chest and my tattoos, something I usually keep hidden from the world.Not just due to the scars, but because I hate the questions my tattoos inevitably bring.
“Sorry, let me just grab a shirt, and I’ll be right back.”
“I don’t mind,” she calls after me, but I’m already moving through my place.Finding what I need in my middle drawer, I grab the navy shirt at the top and yank it on.When I reenter the doorway, I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the frame.“What’s going on?”
Deidre looks good, healthy.She has facial scars from her years of drug use, but her brown skin is clear now.Her hair is freshly styled in thick, colorful braids.She’s even wearing a decently modest outfit, and she’s put on a good amount of weight.I didn’t notice in passing, but it’s obvious now, as she stands in front of me, that she’s kept her promise to me and stayed clean.
Reaching behind her, she pulls an envelope from her back pocket and holds it out for me to take.“I wanted to give you this in person.It’s my notice.”I open it and thumb through the contents.Inside is a check for two months’ rent and a letter.She shakes her head when she sees my confusion.“It’s not what you think.I got a new gig, a job in New Orleans—my auntie owns a restaurant and she’s been lookin’ for help.My mom told her how I turned my life around, and she’s offered it to me.She’s giving me a chance to study under her and become a chef.”
The corner of my mouth twitches.I clamp down hard on the emotion burning in my chest.“Damn, Deidre—I’m happy for you.”
She shrugs, but I can see she’s proud of herself too.Her mouth spreads in a wide smile.“I thought you would be.I know I owe you so much more than—”
I cut her off by pulling out the check and ripping it up.Her jaw drops.“You don’t owe me anything.Seeing you turn your life around is enough for me.”
“Goose…”
“I mean it.”
She flushes, then rushes forward and wraps her arms around me.I stand there, arms bent and held out, until I awkwardly pat her back.She pulls away, pointing at me.“You’re the bee’s knees, pappi, you know?I hope you find a woman who can see that someday.”
I brush off the comment and ask her more about the move and her new position.Eventually, I wish her my best and she leaves.When I reenter my loft, I lean back against the door and feel the emotions rise.Thoughts of the day I offered Diedre a second chance flood through me; thankfully, it’s a memory I don’t have to reach for or that has fallen into a pothole in my mind.She didn’t trust me at first, didn’t trust herself, but damn… what a difference a year makes.
Raising my hand, I hold up my pointer finger, acknowledging my father and the request he made of me.“Keep helping those who need it the most.”
Well, old man, I’m doing my part.Another person off the streets.Think you can start pulling some strings for me with the man upstairs?Because I could use a little help here, and I’m feeling a little lost in the weeds.
As I head to my room, guilt surges again.The shame of what I was doing before Deidre knocked rushes over me.Did she hear me?Wait for me to finish before knocking?
Nice, Finn.Real fucking nice.
I jump into the shower, scrubbing off the evidence of my sins.Cold water, sharp and biting, is just what I need to clear the last hour from my mind.When I’m done, I tie a towel around my waist and start on my morning routine, trimming up my goatee and shaving my jaw.Afterward, I stare at myself in the mirror, letting my gaze roam over my chest, over the tattoo of the bird I can’t let go of.It represents the way she disappeared from my life.From a girl to a flight of birds, to nothing but smoke.
Lily’s face flashes in my mind—the way she looked at me in my office.The way she stared at the picture that means so much to me.The way she felt in my arms.
Not to mention that fucking lap dance.
For the first time in a long time, I hadn’t been thinking, just giving in to my body’s demands.I wanted something besides this life I’ve allowed myself to have.A spark of hope for something more.Yeah, lust was the key player, sure, but that hope—it did something to me.Had she come into my office and given even a slight hint that she’d felt a certain way about me, I would have possibly found a different way to bring her on board while still giving me a chance to get to know her on another level.
