“Will you watch over her…?You know, with Veno still out for blood.”
His hand squeezes my arm.“Don’t even ask.We’ll watch everything—her, especially, and Mateo.We got you.”
Turning my arm, I grip his.It’s a promise, a vow.Once made, I relax back, the tension leaving my frame.If there is anyone in this world I trust to have my back, it’s him.He stands.Hesitates.After letting out a pent-up breath, he mutters, “I’m sorry I forced the pills on you.I thought it would buy you time.I realize now, after talking to the doctor, that you’re going to know your own body better than anyone else, and if the other pills were fucking you up in a way you didn’t like, then I should have taken you at your word and listened, looked for another option.”
Guilt fills his expression.Closing my eyes, I shake my head and say, “No, don’t do that.Don’t put this on yourself.My problem.My choices.If I’d taken them like I should have, I wouldn’t be here.I wanted it to end, so I popped ’em like Tic Tacs to make that happen.Just got sick of the constant pain, you know.And without her, none of it made sense.Didn’t see the point of just prolonging the inevitable.”
He nods.“I get it.But we’ll find a way to fix it.I swear we will.And you have a reason to live now, brother.So, keep pushing through.”
I open my eyes, staring up at the ceiling.The faint hum of the hospital machinery fills the silence.“No more pills.That’s not the answer.There’s got to be another way.”
“No more pills,” Bodie replies, his tone saying he’ll make sure of it.“I’ll call that surgeon in Cali—when you’re ready.I think it’s time you see what your options are on that route or with some of the stuff Lily told me about.No more quick fixes.Someone somewhere will know how to help.And maybe a little rehab.”
Fuck.
The wordrehabhangs between us, heavy and suffocating.I glance over at Lily again, and she meets my gaze.There’s no judgment, just quiet understanding.I imagine they’ve talked quite a bit while I’ve been out, and the fear and concern in her blue eyes nearly undoes me.She’s here.Finally, here with me.And she’s waiting to see what comes next.
Bodie waits patiently, watching me closely.The rest of the room sits in utter silence, like they’re all waiting to see what I’ll choose.
I scan the room and see the stark fear and hope on all their faces.I pause on Mateo’s, seeing how much emotion he’s holding back—the storm brewing in his eyes.When I glance at Lily, she’s worrying her lip and shifting in place.
There she is.My little bird.Afraid to hope for more than this, but wanting it just the same.
Her eyes are soft, shimmering with unshed tears, but she stands strong, like she’s been through hell and back and is still standing.My heart aches, the weight of everything crashing down on me as I look at her, and for a long time, I say nothing.Just look at her.
“What should I do, Lil’?”I ask quietly, my voice barely more than a rasp.
Her breath catches, and I see her lips tremble before she presses them together.She steps forward, her gaze never leaving mine, and comes to stand beside me again.Gently, she reaches for my hand, her fingers slipping into mine.The warmth of her touch sends a shudder through me.
“I want more time,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion but steady, determined.“Any time we can steal, Finn.I want it.So whatever we have to do to help you and buy more of it, then we do it.”
That hits me hard.Any time we can steal.I swallow past the lump in my throat, push through the haze in my head, trying to find the right words.Her hand squeezes mine, and somehow that simple touch gives me the strength.
I meet and hold her stare.“Bodie might be right about rehab.I don’t want to do it, but getting clean might be for the best before I figure out what comes next.”
She nods and squeezes my fingers.
“Will you wait for me?”
Lily smiles, tears slipping down her cheeks.She leans down and presses her lips to mine.She gives me a lingering kiss.It’s like a promise—a silent one we both understand.
“As long as it takes.Wild horses and all that shit couldn’t keep me away.”Tears trail down her face now.She cups my cheek, her eyes never leaving mine.“I promise, baby.”
I promise.
It’s everything I need to hear.We share a kiss, and then she sits beside me, our hands clasped together.We hold on to one another tight, as if we’re both afraid to let go.And for the first time in a long time, the weight of my addiction and pain feels a little lighter.Everything in my life feels fragile, like I’m standing on the edge of something that could go either way.But this—her—the dream of a life with this beautiful, crazy woman is a solid one I want with everything I am.Something I would die to hold on to.
Bodie watches us, his expression softening with relief, and when Lily steps back, he nods, standing up.“You’re making the right choice, man,” he says, his voice full of emotion.“I can feel it in my nether regions.”
Shaking my head, a gruff laugh escapes me, but it turns into a groan as a sharp pain slices through my head.
Dozer smacks the back of Bodie’s head.
“Shit,” Bodie says.“What was that for?”
“For making him laugh.”
Bodie rolls his eyes, but I love seeing the way Lily smiles at their antics.Raven looks less amused, probably because Bodie constantly tries her patience.
