He shrugs.“If you want.Or you could reveal the more important stuff.Favorite position.Pet names you love.How a man might convince you to go for a ride with him on his bike?”
I stall at this and look up at him.He shifts in place, goes to run his hand through his hair, but stops before he can ruin its perfect placement and drops his hand.
The air vacates my lungs.“Are you asking me out?”
The corner of his lip pulls to the side.His fingers press more firmly into my back.“I thought it was obvious that that’s what I’ve been working up to.”
“What about everything else, the rules or whatever?”
He squints and scratches his jaw.He peers at me with kind eyes.It’s a soft, sweet look, and the walls around my heart crumble to dust.“There’s not a damn person working here that isn’t aware of my attraction to you.The rules have been followed for as long as physically possible.Now, I’m getting shit for not manning the fuck up.”
It shocks me at first, but then causes a laugh to bubble out of me.“Are you serious?”
“As a fuckin’ heart attack.”
“So is this you manning up?”
He takes the flower from me and tucks the stem into my purse, then he grabs my hand, pulls me into him, and pinches my chin.“No, babe.This is.”The kiss is a feather-light brush of lips at first, followed by a soft exploration.I fucking melt and give myself over to it.I run my hands up his chest and then lace them behind his neck and pour myself into the kiss.
When we finally break apart, he takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.He tugs me after him toward my car.“So tomorrow, are you free?”
The club is closed tomorrow, and I did have plans—a hike with Raven, and a girls’ night with her and Bethany, but nothing that I can’t change.It’s not smart.In fact, it’s completely and utterly stupid.It’s the opposite of what I should be doing, which is to put him at a distance.
But I’m weak for this man.Weak for him in a way that can never be explained.It’s just something that is.
“What might I be doing if I said I was free?”
“Taking a ride with me somewhere.You’ll want to bring a swimsuit and something to change into.There’s a special place I want to take you to.Raven says you like to hike, and there’s this hidden gem I think you’ll like.If we make good time, I’ll take you out to dinner on the drive back.”
“But your bike’s not made for two people.”
He raises a brow and smirks.“True, that’s why I’ve asked to borrow a friend’s.”
Fuck.Him.Fuck this man.His smile is devastating and knowing.Like he knows I won’t be able to say no.
He invades my space.“Say yes.”
So, in somewhat of a daze, I do.He leads me the rest of the way to my car.Opens the motherfucking door for me and holds it as I get in.Instead of closing it, he takes a moment and simply looks at me.And I realize something when he does.
It’s the silences.
The way we can look at one another and enjoy the silences.The way we know, without it ever being spoken, what’s here–energy, attraction, and something magnetic that pulls, and it’s irresistible.
He tells me goodnight and turns to head back to his bike.I exhale and suck in air, place my hand over my chest, and try to breathe.Because fuck it’s hard, another panic attack in reverse.
I can’t help but ridicule myself later that night for being a coward and selfish.I’m ignoring the problems in favor of finding some personal joy in the present.
CHAPTER 44
Cherish the people that you would take with you on any adventure.
Having the woman of your dreams wrapped around you as you navigate the open highway is a feeling unlike any other.With Lily’s hands laced on my stomach, I feel as if there’s nothing I can’t conquer.Her warmth bleeds into me.Anchors me.For the first time in a long time, I feel almost whole.
I’m tempted to keep driving, to keep pushing for days, where it’s just us and the open road.It’s something I could get used to, exploring the hidden gems of the world with her.A new day, a new adventure.Fuck, it sounds sublime.Like a dream I had once and lost, lost along with the rest.
Would she be up for it if our past and present weren’t tying us down?
The way she readily agreed makes me think she would, and I long for a day when my little bird would navigate any challenge with me if we somehow reached a point where our ghosts could be laid to rest and our future stretched before us.
