He nods and takes another look around the empty cemetery to make sure we are, in fact, alone.“And Veno?”
“I’m going to save him for last.”
“You’ll wait for me to get here?I wanna help.”
The smile I give is fake.The lie, an act.One, I rarely use with Deeds, because out of all the humans on this earth, he’s the one I trust the most.And it does warm my heart that he wants to help.But taking care of Veno, has always been something I want to do alone.
It’ll be a day I relive all the trauma I’ve gone to therapy to work through, and I know when that day comes, every bit of darkness I’ve beaten back will rise to the surface to combat it.A day where I’m hoping I’ll finally lay my demons to rest when I put Veno in the ground, but a traumatic one because of the emotions involved in closing this chapter of my life.
It’s too personal to share with him or any other living soul.So I continue to feed him the lie, knowing I’ll have to apologize and make it up to him down the road.
He chuckles under his breath.“How’s it going with the little buggers.”
I make a face, a sour one.Breeding scorpions and taking care of them without getting stung is a whole hell of a lot harder than the instructions I read online, and than the expert I’d asked at the university led me to believe.“Let’s just say, I’m surviving.Some days it’s more of a pain of the ass than it’s worth.”
“It won’t be in the end.”
“No, I expect not.”
Deeds shifts and smirks.“And hows the bird man, treating you?”
I roll my eyes and look away.“Like another regular employee.”
Deeds knows nothing about the incidents where I momentarily lost my mind and kissed Goose, or where we did more than kiss.I’ve actually shared very little about Goose with him, because he’s completely clean, and the only information I relay has been purely about who I suspect might be a rat for a third party, like the cartel or the Thirteen Devils.Also, who sides with the Greenbacks coming into New Mexico versus who opposes or dislikes them, on a notable level.But I’m still working my way into the club, so there’s not a ton of information to be exchanged.
“Still doesn’t realize who you are?”
“No, I told you.He can’t remember certain parts of his life.For whatever reason, that time period slipped into a black hole.”
“Fucking crazy.”
“You’re telling me.I mean, he has recollections sometimes, but nothing solid.”
“So you’ve settled on Stone, then?”
I flip my hair and shrug.“He’s the best option.”I raise a finger for each point.“He’s easy to manipulate.Believes I’m as dumb as I seem.And he’s the HOC most likely to be one of the rats for the Thirteens, based on what I’ve gathered so far.”
He hurrumphs at that and looks off to the side.He seems lost in thought, so I check in.
“How’s your mom doing?”
He shakes his head for a long time and folds his arms over his chest.“Not good.She’s miserable.Angry.And fed up with the chemo treatments.”He rubs his hand over his mouth and holds it there a moment before dropping it to his side.“They just seem to make her sicker.She’s been talking about quitting them altogether so she can just live the rest of her life not feeling like complete shit.”
“What does your dad think?”
“That she should keep doing them.They fight about it constantly.”
“And you’re what?For it, against it?”
He tilts his head this way and that.“It’s not really up to me, but if it’ll work, then yeah, for it, I guess.Although, I’m the one mostly taking care of her, so I also see what they’re doing to her.It’s like they’re killing her or pushing her close to death.Maybe that’s what needs to happen to kill the cancer, but it’s fuckin’ tears me up to watch it day by day.That’s my fuckin’ mom, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.I’m sorry.And I know that doesn’t really mean shit, but I don’t really know what else to say or how to help.”
He sweeps his hand through his red hair as he stands.
“The stuff you’ve been sending her has helped.She loved that spiced tea shit, and the gummies.The blanket is like her daily comfort buddy, and she’s wrapped up in it nearly every day.”
“Did she like the mug?”
