“Oh my god, they did?” she breathes. “Is she okay?”
“As far as we can tell. All she told him was that she was at a shelter in Oklahoma, and not to look for her anymore.”
“Now what?” Fallon asks.
“Now… nothing,” I state. “It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. We keep doing what we’re doing, and if one day she ends up coming home, then we go from there.”
“How are you doing?”
“Okay,” I respond. “I wish she was healthy so Lennie could know her, but at the same time, if she’s not healthy, I don’t want her near her. Does that make me a bad person? A bad dad?”
“No.” Fallon replies firmly. “You aren’t a bad dad, Jase. Doing what is best for Lennie is what makes you a great dad. Talia will have a lot of work to do if she ever wants to get clean, but I know you’ll do what you can to make that easier for her.”
“Thank you,” I murmur as I pull into my parents’ driveway. “I’m at my mom’s. I’ll talk to you more when I get home, okay?”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
The phone call ends with a click, and all I can think about is how hard it was not to sayI love youat the end of it. I do love Fallon. So much. Both her and Pres have become so intertwined in my life, in my family, that I can’t imagine wanting to spend a day without them. It hurts knowing Talia is out there somewhere, but at least for now, we know she’s alive, and has a bed to sleep in tonight.
46
FALLON
“Can I ask you something?” I ask Jason, my fingers smoothing over the hair on his naked chest.
“You can ask me anything, sunshine,” he responds, twirling a piece of my strewn hair around his finger. We’ve just laid down after putting the girls to bed, and I’m doing everything in my power to stay calm as I think about tomorrow.
“Tomorrow,” I start, taking a deep breath. “I know you said you’d be by my side, but I think I changed my mind.” Before he can panic like I did last week, I rush to fill him in on my thoughts. “I think I want you to be by Presley’s side.”
“What do you mean?” Jason tilts his head back to look me in the eyes.
“The plan was for you to come with and wait outside the courtroom. The girls were going to be with your mom, and my mom would be with me, right?” I ask, though I know the answer, since we’ve gone over it countless times.
He nods, waiting for me to continue.
“I think I need to do it alone, but… I think I need you to take Presley. It’s not that I don’t trust your mom, I do. It’s really that I need to know she is totally safe while I’m in there debating her future. And you’re the only person I can trust with that. She is my entire life, and I trust you more than anyone else that you will keep her happy and safe while I am fighting for her.”
Jason swallows thickly, and I can see the emotion rising in his face. “You do?”
I nod, a tear leaking from my eye. “I do. Maybe you could take her out for breakfast or something, the two of you, and then someday I can have some one-on-one time with Lennie.”
“If that’s where you need me to be tomorrow, then that is where I will be, sunshine.”
Weight lifts off my body with his answer, and I can breathe, knowing he will have my girl during that time. If he can’t hold me during my time of need, then at least he can hold her.
“Thank you,” I breathe, tears freely streaming down my cheeks now.
“Hey now,” Jason coaxes. “No more tears. We’ve got this, remember? Haley is confident it won’t be easy for him to get any form of custody right away. If he really wants to see her, he will have to fight hard and prove himself.”
Words aren’t my strong suit anymore, so I simply nod into his body.
“Come on, you need some rest, sunshine.” Jason holds me, caressing my hair until I drift into a fitful sleep of nightmares where Brad takes my daughter from me.
This entire thingseems like something from a movie, not my actual life. Haley leads me and my mom into the courtroom. My mom holds my hand as we stride down the aisle, and she squeezes it one last time before sitting on the bench closest to the table Haley and I will be sitting at.
I take a deep breath and smooth out my black pencil skirt, cursing myself when I see a piece of lint on the hem. Haley gestures for me to sit beside her, and we wait for Brad and his lawyer to arrive.
Not a minute later, Brad and his lawyer stride in. They’re both dressed in neatly pressed black suits, with Trixie following behind in a black fitted dress. I can barely see the swell of her stomach as she cradles it. She’s pale, her hair in a tight ponytail, but strands are falling loose, and not in a stylish, cute way. She looks frazzled and stressed beyond belief.
