I try my best not to smile with glee as I stand up from the horrible couch, taking my pillow and phone charger and stride over to the bed. “Good. Glad we came to this agreement.”
I climb into the bed after plugging in my phone, and roll onto my side. The overhead light flicks off, leaving us in the dim glow of the lamp. The bed dips as Jason opens the sheets and climbs in on the opposite side of me.
I turn off the lamp, leaving us in complete darkness. I turn so I’m facing Jason, and though I can barely see in the dark, I can tell he’s facing me too.
“Goodnight, Jase,” I say, my heart thrumming rapidly in my chest. He shifts, and it’s almost like he’s scooting closer to me.
My hand is resting in the empty space between us, and I swear I’m more aware of the heat of his body. “Goodnight, Fallon,” he replies, his voice quiet, and almost… tense.
I’m not sure what prompts me to, but I speak. “It’s been years since I’ve shared a bed with someone. Well, besides Presley, but even then, it’s rare.”
I’m met with a long beat of silence, then, “Me too. Lennie doesn’t sleep in my bed unless she’s sick.”
“It’s kind of nice,” I admit. My face heats, and I’m grateful he can’t see it.
“Yeah, it is.”
My lips are moving before I have the forethought to keep them shut. “It sounds stupid, but it’s one of the reasonsI miss Brad. Well, I'll take that back. I don’t miss him. I miss the connection, the familiarity and comfort of something as simple as sharing a bed with someone.”
“I miss it too,” Jason responds. His voice is deep, and it sends a shiver down my spine. “But I don’t want to talk about your ex while I’m laying in bed next to you, Fallon.”
There’s that tingling sensation again.
I find myself scooting a little closer to Jason. I crave his warmth. I know he doesn’t want me, doesn’t want anything more, and to be honest, I don’t either. And yet, I can’t help this draw I have to him, can’t help the recent pining and emotions he’s been bringing up in me. The same thing I felt all those years ago, and I messed it up, and lost him. I did that. Not him.
“This is nice,” I say, my voice breathy.
“Yeah,” Jason replies, his voice gravelly. It’s like a magnet is pulling us together, because I move even closer to him. We meet in the middle of the large bed, and though we aren’t touching, we may as well be with how close we are.
The second guessing starts back up. Do I move away? Am I pushing this too far? Pushing him?
I’m about to back away when Jason’s large palm lands on my hip, pulling me that last short distance into him. I suck in a breath at the contact, and let my body sink further into the mattress, into his touch. My own palm moves on its own accord until it’s flat against his bare chest. His skin is so warm and smooth that I can’t breathe.
Our hips are pressed together, bodies as close as they can be to each other. Jason’s free hand comes up, pushing away my still damp hair from my face to cup my cheek.
“I shouldn’t do this,” he says. He didn’t sayweshouldn’t do this. He saidIshouldn't do this. Does that mean he doesn’t want to do this with me? Am I the problem?I panic and start to pull away, knowing I pushed too hard.
Instead of him letting me move away though, his hand grips my hip tighter, pulling me back to him. He’s rock hard, pressing through the thin barrier of his boxers and pajama pants. Holy crap. Maybe he does want this. He just feels like he shouldn’t.
Jason moves his face closer to mine, so close I can sense his shallow breaths on my lips. Is this happening?
“Fuck it,”he breathes, and then his lips are on mine. I barely have time to react to the fact that he’s kissing me, before I’m tangling myself in him.
My mouth opens, letting him in, my hand moving from his chest to tangle in his short hair, holding him to me. My leg lifts, hooking on his hip, pulling his body into my core. I react more than I think at this moment. He tastes so good, minty and fresh. Our lips twist and move together, and then the realization hits me. I’m kissing Jason. Jason is kissing me.
Holy shit.
I don’t let my brain take over though, I give into his indescribable caress.
“Fallon,” Jason breathes into my mouth, and I will never get enough of hearing my name fall from his lips. I pull him even closer, trying my hardest to keep any sort of contact with him. The contact is short lived, because Jason breaks us apart. My lips tingle from the loss, and my leg is still wrapped around his body, my hand still twined in his hair.
“What are we doing?” Jason asks.
I don’t answer right away. “Seeking comfort from another person?” I finally reply.
“I…” Jason pauses. “I can’t give you more than this, more than tonight, Fallon.”
“I can’t either,” I reply. “I’m busy enough as it is. I can’toffer you a relationship, or someone you can rely on. Presley is my entire world. She’s my focus.”
