I was pretty sure the entire block could hear her. “Yes, Ms. Marge.”
“Okay, here you go.” She tossed two handfuls of miniature candy bars into my bag. “Don’t eat all that tonight. Sugar rots the teeth.”
“Thanks, Marge.” Olivia grabbed a few candy bars herself. “Happy Halloween.” A Barbie and two PJ Masks took our spot as Olivia pulled me off the porch and down the sidewalk. “On to Cherry Lane.”
Olivia had procured knee-high boots for me, and they loudly clicked against the concrete like ladies’ heels. The bright side was if I ran out of room in my candy bag, I supposed my boots could store the overflow.
A robin’s-egg blue Victorian was our next stop, and Olivia filled me in on the owner’s longtime membership to Sylvie and Frannie’s book club.
“Do not take any pamphlets from this lady,” she said, climbing the steps to a cozy wraparound porch. “She has baked goods in that house, and we won’t accept holy tracts in their place.”
It occurred to me that Olivia would’ve made an excellent war general.
I knocked on the door and a smiling woman holding a giant bowl of popcorn balls appeared. She wore her dark hair in a crooked bun and a silver cross around her neck. “Happy Fall Appreciation Day,” she said, then cut brown eyes to me. “I want you to know I do not support evil traditions. They are of the devil.”
“The devil, huh?” I turned to my wife. “Is that who you borrowed my pants from?”
Olivia rolled her eyes and stepped between us. “Lachlan, this is Lupe García. Her husband pastors one of the many churches in Sugar Creek.”
“The best church in Sugar Creek.” Lupe leaned forward and spoke low. “You come see us. We don’t serve that weak grape juice for communion, okay?”
I suspected Mrs. García had sampled the communion juice tonight. “I hear you’re a proud member of Olivia’s book club.”
“I read the books three times each.” She waggled her salt-and-pepper eyebrows. “For literary annotation purposes. Now, Lachlan, being a newlywed, would you like to know the secret to a happy marriage?”
Olivia, who had been about to pop a Jolly Rancher in her mouth, dropped the candy back into her bag. “No, he doesn’t.”
But Mrs. García had her own pulpit to tend. “The secret to a happy marriage is lots of—”
“Don’t say it, Lupe,” Olivia warned.
“Cuddle time.” Mrs. García peeked inside my candy bag and helped herself to an Almond Joy. “That’s all I was going to say.”
I grinned, enjoying the annoyance on Olivia’s face. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Lupe wasn’t done. “Of course cuddle time always leads to something else, if you know what I mean.”
“He does,” Olivia said. “And he doesn’t want to hear it.
“I so want to hear it.”
Olivia ignored me. “What Lachlan wants is one of those popcorn balls you have right there.”
Lupe kept her attention trained right on me. “If you need any marital advice, you come visit. Do you have a home church, Lachlan?”
“Not yet. I haven’t been in Sugar Creek long.”
Lupe tossed three cellophane-wrapped popcorn balls into my bag. “How are you at the handbells?”
“Not as good as I’d like.”
She doled out a single popcorn ball to Olivia. “Pipe organ?”
“More of a keytar man myself.”
“That is a shame.” The woman dusted off her hands and gave an absent wave. “Well, good to meet you. And congratulations on your marriage.” Then her wrinkled face split into an ornery grin. “Our Olivia is a treasure.”
I looked at my wife. “I would agree.”
