This kid. She did not miss a thing. “Can I suggest you take a few deep breaths and approach Dash a bit more calmly?” I added a friendly wink. “Be cool.”
“Be cool,” Ava repeated. “Got it.” She shooed me back. “Seriously, he’s reading your bad energy too.”
I watched her from a few paces away, bolstered as Ava took her time, petting her horse and whispering toward his face.
“It sucks to do things you don’t want to do, doesn’t it?” she said. “I get that, Dash. But I need you to step into the arena for me. Just the two of us. Look, dude, I get the feeling you’re going through something today, and maybe you’re reading Hattie’s crazy lady vibes, but I think it’s something more.”
“I heard that!” I called.
After the two had another lengthy conversation, Ava finally led her horse into the arena. “He’s doing it!” she yelled. “Dash is walking in!”
“Because he trusts you,” I said. “He understands you won’t lead him into danger.” I hoped she’d make the connection to her own life. “Do you feel safe, Ava?”
“I’m trying.” She lifted her focus from the horse to the mottled sky. “After your dad’s gone...nothing’s ever the same, is it?”
“No,” I replied honestly, “but that doesn’t mean it stays bad. What it is...is different.”
“Everyone tells me it’s going to get better, but it hasn’t.”
I had intended for Ava to do a breathing exercise with the horse, but when Dash rested his head on her shoulder, my plans changed.
As Dash nestled deeper into Ava, her shocked eyes met mine. Then she leaned into the horse, wrapped her arms around him and returned the hug. “I love you, too, Dash.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I’ll always be your safe place.”
Thunder boomed in the distance, and horse and girl both jolted. Small drops of rain dotted my arms, and I waved Ava out. “I’ll take Dash. You run back to the house.”
“Are you sure?”
Lightning cracked in the darkening sky, and I knew we were minutes away from a downpour. “Hurry on, now.” I met Ava and Dash at the gate and took the lead rope. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” As she ran toward the house, I hurried the horse to the neighboring pasture, removing the lead and ushering him inside. “Go find your friends, Dash.”
I checked on a few other horses from afar, but as soon as I turned back toward the barn, Mother Nature released the storm. White streaks of lightning slashed the sky, and fat raindrops gave way to sideways torrents. I could barely see as I raced the rest of the way to the barn, grateful when I finally gained shelter.
Panting, I glanced down. I was soaked through. It was perfect if I wanted to hit up a wet t-shirt contest on the way home, but not so great if I wanted to be warm and dry. Ernie was long gone, so it was only me and the empty barn.
Five minutes later I was wrapped in a horse blanket, shivering, and wishing I’d refilled my snack drawer yesterday like I’d intended. The storm had only intensified, and I sat at my desk to wait it out.
My mind drifted to Miller. Handsome, funny, intelligent Miller whose kisses went all the way to my soul.
No, stop thinking about him. New topic. One that doesn’t make me want to fan myself and scribble his name on my planner.
My breakfast meeting with Buck rose to the surface of my consciousness, and I pulled the blanket around me tighter. Had I really gained anything by meeting with him? Was he sincere in wanting to establish a relationship with me? And if he was, was that the wise thing for me to do or just another potential land mine threatening my confidence and emotional healing? I worked with PTSD victims to help them deal with the past and let it go. Was I doing the same—or going back to the trauma battleground for more? Should I delete that list of calls I’d made for potential jobs for him, or pass him the information? Sometimes I didn’t know when to butt out.
The rain pounded on the metal roof above me, and I thought of how romantic a rainy night could be. Cozy on the couch, safe and warm, listening to the pattering rhythm, and cuddling into Miller’s strong, warm embrace.
When would I stop thinking about that man?
“Hattie?”
I was so deep in my rainy fantasy I could even hear him.
“Hattie?”
Nope, that was him. Now I was apparently able to conjure him with only my wayward thoughts.
I bolted from the desk, leaving tracks of water as I shuffled toward the entrance.
There stood Miller. He had an umbrella, a thermos, and a face so blessed in beauty by God, it hurt to look away.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
