Slinging my purse over my shoulder, I made my way down the bleachers and onto the grounds. Buck was in my sights, and I gained on him quickly. He stopped to offer autographs to kids who didn’t want them, posed for a few photos for a few people who did. As he accepted a water bottle from a rodeo employee, my feet ceased moving, and I merely stood. There were ten paces between us, a short walk and an easy jaunt to meet my biological father.
I’d loved that man once. Thought I could love him back to my family and me. But it had never been enough. My heartbeat pounded an erratic rhythm beneath my skin and inside my temples. I felt both sick and weirdly giddy. Everything I’d rehearsed took an eight-second ride in my head, and I struggled to hold on to any of it.
I used to wait outside all day for you to pick me up for a visit.
Do you understand the damage you did to two kids who didn’t ask to be rejected?
I want you to know we got a new dad who loved us as his own and did the job you wouldn’t do.
But I said none of that.
I didn’t call his name. I didn’t move one more inch in Buck’s direction.
Instead, with tears in my eyes, I turned and left.
Feeling somehow rejected again. And like the child who still couldn’t speak up and make it right.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Iwas a quarter of a George Strait song away from home when I nearly ran over Miller.
For the record, it wasn’t my fault. I was used to looking out for animals in the night as I drove, but I was not accustomed to grown men blocking my path.
I mashed my foot to the brake and rolled down my window. “What are you doing? You scared me to death.”
He walked to my Toyota and rested a hand on the door. Sweat dotted his t-shirt and dirt spattered the knees of his jeans. And yet he still looked aggravatingly beautiful. “I just fixed some fence by the glow of a weak flashlight the girls have obviously been playing with.” Even the dark of night couldn’t hide the excitement on his face. “It did give me a chance to test out a polymer material I’m tinkering with that could possibly patch fences easier than wire.”
Gosh, it was adorable when the nerd broke through. “You’re doing this at eleven o’clock?”
Miller took off a leather work glove. “I’ve asked the cows to keep their fence demolishing between the hours of noon and four, but they do not listen.” He lifted a brow as the last notes of “Amarillo by Morning” drifted into the night air. “You okay in there?”
“Yeah.” I moved my arm over the trashy remains of the bag of chips, candy bar, and slushie in the console. Stress eating catered by a convenience store that had tried to sell me live bait with my purchase. “Totally fine.”
The car’s air-conditioning blew Miller’s hair as he leaned in farther. “Hattie Sutton, did you have a not-so-hot date tonight?”
“No. Goodnight. Sleep tight and try not to get bulldozed by the next vehicle that passes through.”
My headlights illuminated Miller like the leading actor that he was as he walked around the car and opened my passenger door. He slid inside, a graceful movement of arms, legs, and muscles that flexed as if they knew someone was watching.
I glared at my new copilot. “This is not an Uber.”
“Good,” Miller said, setting down his tools. “Because I can only pay in sweet words and my disarming good looks.” He jerked his chin toward the road. “Let’s get you home.”
The SUV bounced over the dirt road before I finally parked it in front of my house. “I’m home. Safe and sound.” I shut off the engine. “Have a nice walk back.”
Miller’s long legs unfolded as he exited. “If I were a sensitive man, your rush to see me gone would almost hurt.” He shut his door and joined me as I climbed the creaky steps.
“I’m fine, Miller. I’m going to stay out on the porch for my nightly visit with the crickets, but thanks for making sure my perfectly safe home is even safer.” I rustled up a fake smile. “The neighborhood watch program here is nothing if not thorough.”
“Girls are asleep.” Darn it if Miller didn’t help himself to a seat on my fine porch swing. “I can spare a few minutes.”
“Lucky me.” Because I was determined to shake off some of these melancholy thoughts before bringing my bad mood into the house, I sat down beside him. “You could at least put those legs to use and give us a push.”
Miller complied. “Going out on a limb here. Tough night?”
I let his question marinate in my head a moment before answering. “Not tough, really. Just…odd.”
His arm slipped to the back of the seat, getting cozy. “Now I’m intrigued.”
