“I’ll always be a part of the farm, but it’s time for a new challenge.”
Pretty much what every man had told me on his way out the door.
“I won’t live in California full-time until late December.”
“The veterans depend on you,” I said.
“It’s the farm they’re here for. If anyone’s dependent on me, then I’m doing the program wrong. Dependency isn’t part of anyone’s long-term healing plan.”
My eyes clouded over with fresh tears I blinked away. “I shouldn’t have become dependent either.”
“Don’t say that, Hattie.”
“It’s my fatal flaw, isn’t it?” I felt so stupid. I’d done it again. “I give my whole heart, and then poof. The guy just disappears.”
“I’m not disappearing on you.” He said it so fervently, it almost sounded believable. “We’ll see each other all the time.”
“Oh, what? We’ll FaceTime every night, visit once a month? Then we’ll get busy and disconnected, and before long it’s a text here and there and ‘No, sorry, I can’t fly out. I’ve got plans.’ I want more than that.”
“So do I.”
“I don’t want to be like all your other girlfriends who you simply outgrew and got bored with.”
A line slashed between his brows. “You know you mean more to me.”
“For all I know, this is how it started for them, then next thing those women knew they were just an afterthought.”
“I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel for you.”
I shook my head, the tears falling in earnest. “I’ve been hurt too many times to trust your words.”
“Then trustme.”
“Like your sister should?”
“What does that mean?”
“You can’t even tell your sister the full truth of her husband’s death.”
“She’s been through enough. What good will learning Jonathan had an affair really do?”
“Because it’s the complete story, and she deserves that. Or is truth in your world just whatever you decide it is? You withheld Jonathan’s secret, and you withheld the news you’d be moving back to California.”
Anger flashed in his blue eyes. “You want honesty?”
“Yeah. If you can manage it.”
“Here’s some honesty,” he said. “Your father is using you.”
“I’m aware!” I yelled.
“You’re falling back into the same old pattern where you’re allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.”
“It’s temporary.”
“It’s enabling. It does him no good, and it certainly won’t help with this healing you say you’re seeking.”
It was true my pursuit of my bio-father had become somewhat of a disastrous derailing. But the last person I needed to tell me that was Miller. “I can manage that situation just fine, and believe me when I tell you, it’s all under control.” It wassonot under control. “Maybe you should back off and deal with your own messes.”
