“You act like he’s some monster,” she said. “Maybe Crimson just wanted a real man. Somebody who didn’t put the streets before her. Because that's exactly what you and Jahsir did.”
“You defending Que, and disrespecting me and Jahsir in the process? Be careful, Venus.”
She smirked, realizing she was getting under my skin. But see, I’d let Venus play with me for far too long.
I opened the drawer, reached in slowly, and when I turned, the gun was in my hand. Low. Resting in my palm like it belonged there. Like it had never left. Venus froze. All that noise died in her throat. I didn’t point it. I didn’t have to. The weight of it did enough.
“You gonna shoot me now?” She asked, not sure if she knew the answer herself.
I stepped in close.
“Nah,” I said. “But I need you to see me.Reallysee me. 'Cause somewhere along the way, you forgot who the fuck I am.”
I ran the muzzle down the side of her face. She flinched, tears already rolling.
“See, you lay up next to me every night, had me thinkin’ I could trust you. That’s my fault. But it won’t happen twice.”
She shook her head, crying harder. “I didn’t mean?—”
Click.I cocked the gun and watched her go silent.
“You meant it,” I said. Calm. Like I was telling her the weather. “Every move you made was calculated, and you made ‘em thinkin’ I wouldn’t catch on. Thinkin’ a nigga lost his edge. But I haven't. So, tread lightly.”
I slid the gun into my waistband, grabbed my bag, and slung it over my shoulder. “We’re done. Stay the fuck off my line, out of my life, and the hell away from anybody connected to me. “
She collapsed behind me, sobbing. Screaming. “Please! Rashad, don’t leave me like this! I love you!”
I walked through the door without looking back.
venus
. . .
“Uh, uh, mm, right there!”I rode his face violently. I yelled loudly as an orgasm erupted from my body. Collapsing to the bed, I breathe heavily, catching my breath. He leaned over, taking a sip of his beer, then sat up in the bed next to me. It was quiet between the two of us. I don’t know if he had anything to say, but I had plenty. Everything we planned had gone downhill, and I needed him to explain why. Speaking up, I ruined the sexual bliss we were in and said,
“Que, you asked me to convince Rashad to let you join their team, and I did. You asked me to put you on to Crimson and I did! What else should I have done, because from where I’m standing, I did my part. Now, did you? Only part you held up was killing Dro and leaving evidence of the robbery that pointed to Rashad. But as always, you got cocky. Getting Crimson pregnant wasn't part of the plan.”
He took another sip of his beer and placed it back on the nightstand. “You knew that was the only real way to get Jahsir out of hiding.”
“Jahsir wasn’t hiding. He is very intentional about the shit he does.”
“You sound like you admire the nigga.”
“I’m just saying, Que. Getting Crimson pregnant, filling her head with dreams while she was already vulnerable, then leaving her to struggle with a baby wasn’t cool. These are people's lives at stake.”
“See, that's your problem. You fell for her.”
“No, you fell for her.” I paused, my throat tightened as I realized he’d fallen for yet another woman while I sat on the sidelines. I really let him play with me, multiple times. “You and I were supposed to be together,” I said, my voice cracked in spite of the hardcore exterior I often tried to keep up. “How do you have four kids in four years? Where the hell does that leave me?”
“Where you’ve always been. My business partner. Nothing more.” He shot back.
The words felt like a dagger to my heart. I stared at him, waiting for something. Maybe he was drunk and regretted those words. I looked up, searching for hesitation, but he just picked up his beer again like we weren’t talking about all of the shit he got me caught up in, while promising me the world.
“I wasn’t a business partner when I was riding your face a few minutes ago!”
“Be careful, baby. You’re wearing your heart on your sleeve.”
“Que,” I uttered while my heart sank to the deepest part of my chest. Was this it? After everything we did, hell, everythingI did and sacrificed. Que was a master manipulator, that was nothing new. But part of me had really thought I was the exception to his deception. That maybe, aside from the hustle, I actually mattered to him. I felt like a goofy, and now I was alone.
