“Truth is… I been through some shit. And when I say that, I don’t mean like heartbreak and petty drama. I mean real-life shit.”
“What type of shit? I’m listenin’”
She let the silence stretch a little before she started pourin’ her soul out to a nigga.
“I been molested by my own blood. My brothers, uncles... People that was supposed to protect me.”
Her voice didn’t shake, but it got lower.
“I had to fight grown-ass men off me before I even hit puberty. I learned early that nobody was comin’ to save me, so I had to save myself. I got loud. I got smart. I even got mean sometimes, but that’s how I survived.”
I looked at her, and just listened.
She looked over at me like she was searchin’ for judgment, but I ain’t have none to give.
“Damn… that shit ain’t turn you cold?”
“Hell yeah that shit did. I hated men for a long time. I ain’t trust nobody, and still don’t trust most people. But I been doin’ a lot of growin’… a lot of healin’ too.”
She exhaled and wiped the corner of her eye, but her voice stayed strong.
“I came here ‘cause I wanna know what it feel like to be loved by a man that ain’t gon’ use me or hurt me. I wanna feel safe, like I can stop holdin’ my damn breath all the time.”
I passed her the blunt again. “I hate you went through all that.”
She nodded slowly. “Yeah. I hate it too, but I ain’t lettin’ it define me no more. I’m focused on what’s ahead.”
I sat forward, my elbows on my knees, watchin’ her close.
“You been through hell,” I said. “But you still showin’ up.”
“I ain’t got no choice,” she said, shruggin’.“But I ain’t just showin’ up for the world no more. I’m showin’ up for me now.”
That shit hit me… for real.
I ain’t say nothin’ else ‘cause sometimes silence said more than any words could.
She finished the blunt, crushed it in the ashtray, and stood up slowly. I stood too. We walked toward the door, but before we reached it, she turned around, stepped close, and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her body was still warm from the workout, and she smelled like cocoa butter, weed and sweat.
“I really enjoyed this,” she said. “The one-on-one. It meant somethin’.”
I didn’t hug her back right away, but I ain’t pull away either. I just stood there and let her hold me, ‘cause deep down, I needed that shit too.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
After breakfast, I decided to go back to my assigned room and decompress. Being in the mansion with a bunch of catty ass women who argued all day about who looked better and lifestyle upgrades was startin’ to feel like punishment instead of opportunity. I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to stay six weeks in this place without losing it. Every corner of the house echoed with somebody gossiping about who Pressure might wife up or about how they were going to manifest a ring and a Range by next month.
It was only Day Two, and some of these women already smelled like they skipped Day One’s shower. I didn’t say nothing, but I noticed. The same ones hollering about being“top-tier baddies” were leaving lashes in the sink and not cleaning up after themselves like we hadn’t just got here.
I kept the window cracked in my room just enough to let some air in, but the sound of laughter outside kept sneaking through. The women were all by the pool, twerking to old Megan Thee Stallion and hyping each other up like this was spring break. I heard Kashmere’s laugh above everybody else’s. She fit right in—loud, carefree, and floating on good vibes like she didn’t have a worry in the world. But I did…
I couldn’t stop thinking about Zurie. My baby sister was six years old, with a brain disorder that made every second I spent away from her feel risky. She was strong, but her body was delicate, and sometimes things just… happened. I kept telling myself she was in good hands with Uncle Lionel and Aunt Deanne. I believed that when I packed her bag and kissed her on the forehead. But now, sitting here with no phone, no updates, and no peace of mind, that belief was getting hard to hold on to.
What if Mama tried to come get her? What if she showed up at my Uncle Lionel’s house wilding? What if Zurie had another episode? What if she needed me and I wasn’t there?
I stood up and started pacing, realizing something that made my heart beat faster. I never wrote down my uncle’s number. It was saved in my phone, and now my phone was locked up somewhere in this big ass jungle mansion like it was contraband.
I didn’t even grab my shoes. I just opened my door and stepped out into the hallway, moving fast and looking around for somebody—anybody—who could help. I passed two girls sitting near the stairs whispering, but I ain’t speak. I kept moving until I spotted one of the security guards near the entrance to the den.
