"I feel obligated to point out that you're not telling me no. Have you finally given up the fight to proclaim your heterosexuality? Or is your dick taking over long enough for you to forget that?"
"I'm not gay," he hissed at me, eyes darting over to Dominic, who continued to lie on the pool chair without paying the slightest bit of attention to us. I expected at some point for him to check, if only to make sure we hadn't killed each other.
I raised a brow. “You, uh, aren't trying to tell yourself you're straight, though, right? Like...that ship has sailed, good buddy."
"We're not buddies."
"No, seriously," I continued, frowning. "You're not trying to lock yourself up in denial so hard that you're ignoring reality...right? Like?—"
He looked away from me, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed. "I don't know what to call...what's been happening. But I'm not gay."
"Look, you're looking at the wrong guy if you think I'm going to insist that you are. I like women as much as the next guy...well, you know what I mean. Maybe you could make an argument that the first time was a one-off. A few wires getting crossed, mixed in with some curiosity you didn't know you had, and that the first time took care of things. But uh...it's been more than once."
"I know that."
"And if I'm not suddenly suffering from a random bout of psychosis, then I'm not imagining that you are seriously considering doing it again."
"You are suffering from psychosis, because I'm not."
"Mmm, right. You just felt the need to tuck that towel over your crotch when I was coming onto you for the fun of it. Not because it would be the only way to hide the fact that you were getting turned on. Because we both know there's not a whole lot you could do to hidethatthing otherwise."
My attempt at a compliment didn't seem to have done much as his brow furrowed even further while he sat on the chair, glaring into space. Then again, I couldn't exactly pretend that he was readily going to receive any compliment from me. Complimenting him wasn't familiar to me, but hell, I wasn't blind, and I wasn't so far in denial that I couldn't acknowledge the truth. From what I remembered, his parents had been miserable pieces of shit, but at least their physical genetics had been good, his looks were probably the only decent thing his parents had passed along to him.
Finally, he glanced at me, lips thin and a furrow in his brow. "Everything's so easy for you, isn't it?"
Well,thattook me off guard, and I leaned back with a startled laugh. "That’s news to me. Where in the fuck did that even come from?"
"You've always been like that. Everything is just so easy, and you expect everyone else to have it as easy as you do."
"Again, confused where the fuck that's coming from. And getting pissed because you sound like a dick head who doesn't know what he's talking about." It wasn't like I pretended I’d had a particularly hard life, especially compared to some people. That didn't mean my life had beeneasy, and even vaguely insinuating that I had floated through life without struggle was stupid.
His face contorted for a moment before he grimaced and looked away, peering out at the rain. "Before...a few weeks ago, what I knew about you was that you were straight. You'd never shown any interest in guys. Then I find out that isn't true."
"Right, things can change when you leave high school."
"I know that. But it doesn't look like it's bothered you in the slightest."
"Should it?"
"Does me."
Reflex told me to shoot down the idea as stupid, to roll my eyes at his constant need to make everything a struggle. The words died in my throat before they could be given a voice as I watched him, his expression strained, his fingers curled into fists on his knees.
"It used to," I replied before thinking what I was doing.
The strain on his face gave way to a mild surprise as he glanced at me. “What?"
I shrugged. “Things weren't like they are now. Even back in school, I knew there was something...different about me, and deep down, I suspected what it was. It wasn't until I left high school that I had my firstreallyclumsy experience with another guy, and I couldn't deny it anymore. Even then, it wasn't easy to admit, and I was practically on the verge of a heart attack trying to admit it finally."
"To your family?” he asked with an incredulity that bordered on suspicion. "Yourfamily?"
I laughed a little. “Yeah, man, even my family."
"That's stupid, your family was known by everyone for being cool with just about anything."
Annoyance flashed through me. “Yeah? And what's got you so scared about admitting it to yourself? I hope it's not your parents, because they're gone. And from what I saw, your buddy,Kayden, wouldn't give a shit if you told him you were into guys. Emotions are fucking stupid, especially fear."
He opened his mouth and then closed it gently with a thoughtful grunt. “Yeah, I guess...sorry, that was stupid of me."
