I grunted, unable to argue but still holding my glass on my knee. “Or you could tell me why you pulled me in here, handed me liquor, and act like you're about to tell me someone died."
"Quite the opposite. You gonna drink?"
"Not yet."
She sighed. “Micah?—"
I frowned as she trailed off. “What is it? Are you guys...in trouble? Like, the kind of trouble you and your whole family couldn't deal with?"
It wasn't uncommon for hotels to occasionally have issues with organized crime, but they tended to target smaller businesses in worse neighborhoods. The hotel wasn't in the high-end part of town, but neither was it in bad shape, especially being so close to the Gras, which the city put extra effort into making safe for the tourism money. It would have to bereallybad if the whole family couldn't deal with whatever it was. I could say any number of things about Mason, and with enthusiasm, but there was no way in hell I would deny that he loved his family and would protect them with a vehemence that put my sense of justice to shame.
"Look, ignore Kayden, alright? I don't know what you have to tell me. He feels he needs to stick his nose in, but ignore him. He likes to interfere way too much, I would know. We haven't seen each other in like...eight years, and I can't see what you'd have to say that I'd need to?—"
"Closer to nine."
"What?"
"It's been closer to nine."
I started to talk again and then stopped, confused why she needed to correct that when an extra year didn't really matter. "Okay...nine years then?—"
She looked up at me, and for a moment, I saw the woman I'd dated and had loved for a time. While her gaze no longer gave me that little stop in my chest, I could still see the beautiful woman she was. Except now that beautiful face was torn by hesitation, fear, and worry that I had never seen on her face before.
"And," she said, and I watched her draw herself up, the emotion on her face easing in a way I’d seen before whenever she felt the need to steel herself for something tough. Moira wasn't one to let people see her anything but confident, and I didn't know how to feel that I was being allowed to see that moment of mental and emotional stillness despite the years and us no longer being together. Her eyes latched onto mine, and I knew then to brace for what was about to leave her mouth. “And, it's been a little over eight years since Micah was born."
"O...kay," I said, unable to help but glance out the window down toward the boy as he sat at the table. The chair was slightly too tall for him, and his feet dangled, which didn't seem to bother him as he kicked mechanically while he chewed away at his sandwich. "What are you trying to?—"
I stopped, feeling something flare in the back of my thoughts, and I was helpless to do anything but wait for it to roll over me, like seeing the blast of a nuclear bomb in the distance and knowing you were too close to escape and could only wait for the shockwave. All I could do was sit there and let the warm air of the blast wash over me as the ground was torn up in the distance.
Staring down at Micah, I watched as he twisted in his seat as the girl at the front desk said something to him. His brow furrowed, creating a deep crease that I remembered seeing in the face of my father…and in the mirror. Then she saidsomething, and his cloudy expression disappeared under the presence of a bright, sunny smile. My chest squeezed tight enough to make it hard to suck in the sharp breath I needed when his cheeks sunk in two points with a grin, dimples as prominent as his black hair and dark eyes that were colorless from this distance. It was then that I realized what I should have seen before, but had been too distracted by Mason, the rotten bastard. That was the shape of his face, and even in some way, the way the boy held himself.
My mouth fell open, and a noise I would never claim later, let alone be able to describe, fell from my lips. I slowly turned to stare at Moira. She was staring back at me steadily, her expression somber as she waited for me to process the aftermath as the shockwaves of the blast washed over me...and then the debris rained down around me. I was vaguely aware of the glass clenched in my hand and barely noticed how much the liquid sloshed as I brought it to my lips. It took me a couple of tries to get my throat to work correctly to inhale the contents. It burned on the way down, but I welcomed the sudden blossom of fire that erupted in my stomach as it landed.
"Micah," I said softly. The name had been my grandfather's name on my mother's side, a man I had adored up until he’d died when I was seven. I had been given it as a middle name, and although I'd always hated the last name I'd inherited from my father, and had been neutral about my first name, my middle name had always been cherished.
She winced slightly at that. “It seemed...appropriate at the time."
I once more turned to stare down at the little boy. “I...does he know?"
"About you?"
"I just...what does he know?"
"He knows he has a dad, obviously, you need one for the most part to make a kid. As far as what he knows, he knows it was my choice to go for the single mom thing, not his dad's. Otherwise, he knows his dad was a good man and that I’d been happy with him. After that, I left it up to him if he wanted to know more...and that included if he wanted to know you."
I leaned forward, setting the glass down, pushing it toward her as I struggled to find the words, which was difficult enough on a good day. I'd never been good at expressing myself, and now I was trying to figure out how I even felt about the sudden news, let alone try to explain it to someone else. The problem was, I didn't think there was even a handbook for how to feel when you found out that you not only had a kid, but you'd had one for eight years that you didn't know about.
"I feel like I should be asking if he's actually mine, but…" I watched him twist in his seat to say something, and I frowned when Mason came into view, taking a seat opposite... my son, and talking to him. "But even if you had been sleeping around at the time...the, uh...the?—"
"Resemblance is beyond uncanny and practically downright creepy?"
"Yeah...kinda shocked I didn't realize it before when I saw him, but?—"
"Mm, well, you were a little focused on Mason."
"Yeah, I guess."
I was able to throw out a few emotions, at least enough to know I had no use for them. Feeling guilty because I wasn't around was slightly lessened by two facts. One being that Moira had intentionally kept me out of the loop, which I was going to circle back to in a moment, so I hadn't had much choice in that matter. The other was that, despite my feelings aboutpartof the family, I knew Moira and Micah had known support I could have only dreamed of growing up. Micah might not have known me,but he had plenty of family there for him, and the hotel had done well for years, so money had never been a question.
