‘But why?’ I said, my eyes filling with tears. ‘Why does Mrs Webb love Beth and hate me?’
He raised a hand to quieten me. ‘It’s not that, it’s … not even about you, really. It’s about …’ He looked beyond me to check nobody was listening in. ‘It’s more about Mrs Webb and David.’
I frowned. ‘In what way?’
‘It’s complicated.’ He sighed. ‘All you need to know is that if Mrs Webb and David both get what they want life becomes easier for us all.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Do you understand what I’m saying, Janey?’
‘Not really.’ I stared at him, not understanding him in the least.
He pinched the top of his nose and shook his head. ‘I’ll put you a lock on the door. Don’t be afraid to use it.’
54
Merri
My mind is spinning, the thoughts colliding until I can’t breathe. I can’t stand to look out of the window.
I’m keeping the glass doors shut now. Even when it’s really warm and the house feels airless. I can’t stand the thought of the lake air creeping in, slick and cold. Sometimes I think I can smell it anyway – the earthy, metallic scent, like dirty stones and rot. But it still clings to the corners of the house, as if it will always manage to seep in.
I need to get away from here, just for a while, to clear my head.
My mind drifts to Paige at the old house. Seeing a familiar face and someone I can trust is what I need. Paige has always been good at giving impartial advice and I’ve missed her since we moved here. Things are a bit awkward between us but I’m willing to push through that because I need her.
I try calling her, but it goes straight to voicemail again. I wonder if she’s ignoring me, after I missed her calls on the night of the party. I pause for a second, then make up my mind – I’ll go back to Nottingham to see her. It’s a long journey, but it gets me away from here and I should have made the effort to go before now, or to invite her here. I need some space and I’ll explain to Dev later.
I send a quick text to Paige to say I should arrive late morning. If she’s not in, I can let myself in with my ownkey. When I offered her the place, she’d said I was welcome to drop by any time and let myself in if there was anything I needed.
Right now, I need the space of my old life – away from everything, away from everyone. Away from this new life that still feels overwhelming.
Before I get a cab to the station, I leave Dev a note telling him I have to go back to see Paige and I’ll explain everything to him later.
I stare at my phone the entire journey, willing it to buzz with a reply from Paige. When I texted her first thing, I told myself the silence didn’t mean anything. I know she’s not at work today but she’s probably busy with something else. But as the train rattles closer to Nottingham and still nothing comes through, an uneasy restlessness claws at me. My thoughts churn endlessly, one worry feeding into the next as a palette of green fields rushes past the window.
By the time I arrive at Nottingham, the unease inside me has grown into something heavier still. I call Paige again as I stand near the taxi rank outside the station, pressing the phone tight to my ear. Nothing. No answer.
The cab ride to the house drags endlessly, every red light and traffic queue fraying my nerves further. When we finally pull up outside my old house, my heart sinks. The place looks different. Lifeless, somehow.
For the first time I’m aware of all the concrete. Everything man-made and nothing of nature, aside from a few patchy squares of lawn.
I pay the driver and step out of the cab, desperate for some air after the muggy interior.
For the sake of courtesy, I ring the doorbell even though I’m pretty sure Paige isn’t at home. I’m reminded of that morning when, grumpy from having my day off disturbed,someone wouldn’t stop ringing the doorbell. I smile when I remember how mortified I was when I found myself in front of the DreamKey cameras clad in my dressing-gown.
I can hear the door chime echo hollowly inside. There’s no movement. No footsteps. No sign of life. Next, I knock on the door, but even as my knuckles rap the wood, I know it’s pointless.
I slip the key into the lock, my hand trembling as I push the door open. The cold hits me as soon as I step inside. My gaze drops to the floor where a pile of unopened mail is scattered where it fell through the letterbox.
The place feels strange. Not lived in.
The kitchen confirms my suspicions. Plates and mugs are stacked high in the sink, crusted with dried food. The bin is overflowing, the sour stench wafting up and a couple of flies buzzing around. I step closer, my stomach churning at the smell, anger bubbling at the sight of the place in such a state.
‘What the hell, Paige?’ I mutter under my breath. Do a friend a good deed and this is what happens.
Upstairs, things only get worse. The bedroom – a room I’d loved for its clean lines and soft, comforting light – looks like it’s been ransacked. Drawers are pulled open, their contents strewn across the floor in chaotic piles. Papers, clothes and random bits of junk lie scattered everywhere.
And then I see the mail. More letters addressed to me and Dev, torn open and tossed aside as if they’re rubbish.
A cold dread seeps through me. Something is very wrong here. First the shock of Sarah’s death and now … Now I’m filling with a sense of doom about Paige’s safety.
