‘Leave me alone, all of you, just leave me be!’ she says icily, shoving the umbrella higher and stalking off into the rain.
It occurs to me she’s either a first-class actress, or she’s more distressed than I could ever have imagined. A bolt of regret hits my chest.I’ve got it wrong.
Jack hesitates, caught between loyalty and her anger. I step forward, putting a hand on his arm. ‘I’ll go after her. I’ll apologize. Just … let me handle it.’
Jack’s mouth opens as if he’s about to argue, but he closes it again and nods reluctantly. That’s good enough for me. I glance back as I step out into the storm, seeing everyone else clustered in the doorway, their faces unreadable.
The rain is icy against my skin, soaking through my thin dress almost immediately. I was foolish not to grab a coat. My hair clings to my face and neck as I run after Sarah, my high heels slipping on the wet gravel. ‘Sarah! Wait!’
She doesn’t slow, doesn’t even glance back. The brightly coloured umbrella bobs ahead of me, vivid against the dull grey landscape.
‘Sarah, let’s talk. If I got it wrong, I’m sorry, OK?’ Shivering, I gain ground and call out again as I reach her. ‘Please, let me explain.’
I manage to catch up with her and reach out to grab her. She turns towards me at that exact moment. The roughly hewn Catbells ring Dev bought me catches her cheek andan angry red welt instantly springs up. Sarah screams and clutches her face.
‘Sarah, stop running! Listen to me –’ My words disappear into the wind whipping around us and Sarah takes off again.
Across the road, a couple of dog walkers sheltering under a tree pause to watch the spectacle. Their mouths hang open as they take in the sight of me, drenched and shouting into the storm. I catch their disapproving stares and feel a fresh surge of humiliation. The locals already seem to have a low opinion of us. This altercation will only serve to exacerbate that.
Sarah doesn’t stop. It’s clear now she’s heading for the lake, the wind tugging at the umbrella and the rain lashing sideways now. My feet squelch in the mud, the cold seeping through me until my fingers are numb.
I slow my pace, my anger and frustration fizzling out into exhaustion.
Let her go, I think bitterly. Let the stupid girl wear herself out. What good will it do me, chasing her? What good will any of this do? She’s refusing to listen, refusing to talk things through, like a sane adult.
I stop, doubling over to catch my breath, the rain streaming down my face like tears. Ahead, Sarah grows smaller and smaller, a blurred figure in the distance.
Just let her go.
46
Fifteen Years Earlier
‘Ever taken chances?’ David asked me.
We were in the garden, and the autumn scent of turned earth and damp leaves filled the air between us. He looked at me in the intense way he had lately. There was something challenging in his eyes.
I hesitated. David was still an enigma to me – one I couldn’t trust, but one I needed on my side. He held the power in the house, whether I liked it or not, and I still hadn’t managed to get to the bottom of why that was. If I was going to survive here, if I was going to protect Beth, I knew I had to start playing his game.
But it was hard. Every instinct in me warned against it, told me he was dangerous in ways I hadn’t fully grasped yet. And I was increasingly aware Mrs Webb had her claws embedded in Beth, slowly reeling her in with gentle smiles and quiet manipulation. If I didn’t have someone to stand between us, what then?
David shifted slightly, the dry leaves crackling under his boots. He watched me closely, as if he was waiting to see which way I’d turn.
‘Chances?’ I echoed. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘You know.’ He leaned in, his voice dropping to a low murmur. ‘Doing something that’s forbidden … somethingyou know you’re not supposed to do. But you do it anyway. Just to find out what it’s like to get away with it.’
There was no warmth in his smile. Something about that moment felt as if he’d been planning it all along. The thought chilled me more than the wind slicing through the garden.
My fingers were buried in the cool soil, its prickling chill spreading through me. I glanced up at him, letting out a little laugh. ‘Dunno. Depends whether I could get away with doing something forbidden, I suppose.’
‘You’re eighteen years old next month. It’s time you started living a bit.’ David grinned. ‘I’ll show you what I mean.’
I didn’t know if it was the look on his face or the tone of his voice that piqued my interest, but I didn’t protest. I’d only ever known adults telling me I had to do exactly as I was told in life, even when that made me feel bad. Having a choice in the matter sounded interesting and soon I’d be an adult.
I got up, dusting my hands on my jeans.
‘Grab your handbag from the house and then come with me.’
