She won’t be able to lie her way out of this one as she did before.
He clenches his hands into fists, the surge of hate boiling over. This time, she’ll be forced to face the truth. He’ll make sure of that.
He doesn’t care what happens after he’s carried out his plan. The money, the house – none of it matters. He’ll be in Windermere before long and, one way or another, he’ll see this through. After that, his mind is completely blank.
Because if he has his way, he might not be here at all, soon. And neither will she.
18
Sunday
Dev
Dev steps out on to the terrace. The morning air is fresh and sharp despite the summer heat. It must have something to do with being so close to the water, it having the power to cut through to your lungs and wake you up from the inside out. He breathes in deeply, letting the gentle breeze cleanse the cobwebs from his head. These are probably the first few minutes he’s had to himself since they arrived, the first chance to take it all in and just be.
The view stretches out in front of him, vast and uninterrupted. To the left, a gentle slope drops towards the fields, thick hedgerows cutting them into neat, uneven parcels. To the right, there’s the mighty lake, and beyond that, a rolling blanket of trees that disappears into the horizon.
Dev grips the glass railing and leans forward, letting his eyes take it all in. He wants to memorize every inch of the place. But he kind of understands what Merri means about it not feeling real. Right now, it’s like he’s been dropped into someone else’s life.
He glances over his shoulder at the open bedroom window a little further along. He can just make out the faint sounds of Merri unpacking – drawers being pulled out, hangers clinking and scraping. Dev knows she’s keeping busy, trying to settlein, making a new normal for herself. He understands Merri better than she thinks he does.
Turning back to the view, Dev feels something quiet and heavy sitting on his chest. He hasn’t allowed himself to think about his parents much in the last few months – no time for it – but they’re here now, just at the edges of his mind. He still misses them every day.
‘You’d like this place, wouldn’t you, Dad?’ he murmurs, into the breeze.
Unlike Merri’s, his childhood had been happy, and it’s always his father he thinks of first.
His old man had been a relentlessly hard worker, his mum too. They’d had a stall in Nottingham’s indoor market for years. The kind of place where you’d buy a yard of fabric, a few buttons or a bit of ribbon for a school project. While his dad had toiled, collecting heavy rolls of fabric from the various wholesalers and carting them to their market stall single-handedly, his mum, a talented dressmaker, had stood behind the counter most days. Dev could still see the tape measure she’d sling around her neck like it was part of her. Always ready to assist a customer with a pattern, or a colour choice.
Eventually, they’d scraped enough together for the little shop in Mapperley. Dev remembers the tiny bell above the door that rang when someone came in. The peculiar smells of chalk dust and fabric glue.
It had been a step up, and seven days a week they’d worked it, no complaints. Twelve hours most days, sometimes more, but his father had never looked tired. Not really. He always had a bit of energy left for Dev when he came home from school, asking him what he’d learned today, whether he’d got himself another gold or silver star for effort or achievement.
Most of all, Dev thinks of the promise his dad used to make his wife, so frequently it was almost a joke by the end. ‘When my ship comes in, Kashvi, you will have your dream house. One of those beauties overlooking Wollaton Park. I will buy it just for you.’
His mum would bat him away and laugh. But Dev knew, deep down inside, she believed him. Just a little.A big park house… That had always been her dream.
In the event, his dad’s ship had never come in.
Instead, there had been the man who’d attacked him by his car at the end of a busy Saturday’s trading. A man who seemed to know his dad would have the day’s considerable takings on him.
He’d never forget his father’s bashed-in face and last wheezing breaths in a hospital bed and the realization that Dev would never hear him utter that promise again. Two years later, his mum was gone too. They said it was a heart attack but Dev knew it was a broken, bleeding heart, unable to heal without her beloved husband by her side.
Police never caught the murderer, the man who’d wrecked their lives.
Dev swallows hard now, shaking off the memories with the power to choke him.
He fixes his gaze on the shimmering lake below the terrace. He’s ready for life to begin and he’s determined to make it count. He’ll do it for Merri and for himself. He’ll do it for his parents, too.
Change doesn’t sit well with Merri, Dev knows that. His wife is the kind of person who likes everything mapped out and nailed down. She’s always needed her little anchors to ground her and make sense of things. Sometimes he can feel the anxiety rolling off her in little chilly waves. Their traumahad bonded them when they met. But while Dev opened up, let his sadness and anger spill in front of her, Merri closed up like a clam. She told him her sister had died in tragic circumstances and had never uttered a word more than that.
But that’s OK. He’ll give her as much space as she needs and one day, when she’s ready, he knows she’ll feel safe enough to confide in him.
It’s just who Merri is and how she copes, and Dev loves her regardless. He just wishes she’d let him in more, let him see what’s there, under all those carefully packed layers. But he understands his wife’s past has a few toxic edges she finds it safer to avoid. Losing her mum at a young age, ending up in care … and Beth, the beloved younger sister she lost.
Dev has small pieces of the jigsaw for reference. Scraps of memories that have shaped her.
He turns and looks back again towards the bedroom window. Merri’s silhouette moves inside, her head bent as she folds some garment. Merri deserves all of this too, he thinks. She deserves to find happiness. He really wants her to allow herself to believe this new life is solid and real. He knows their good luck won’t disappear or go wrong. But Merri isn’t there yet and that’s OK. He can wait as long as it takes for her to feel safe.
