Let her wallow? No, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t stand by while she suffered from embarrassment, pain, or even dysentery. His rabbit wouldn’t allow it, and neither would the man. “I’ll go talk to her.”
He started toward the stairs, but Crimson grasped his arm. “Be gentle. She’s a perfectionist, so I imagine she’s raking herself over the coals.”
Gentle. He couldn’t think of any other way to be. “Thank you. I’m sure we’ll be in touch.”
He descended the stairs and hurried across the yard to Destiny’s. The back door was locked, but a quick brush of his fingers opened it with ease. Darkness engulfed the bottom floor, so he went up to the living area and found her sitting on the sofa, cradling her head in her hands. He padded toward her and sank onto the cushion next to her.
A sob racked her body, and she sucked in a shaky breath. “You should hate me.”
He rubbed her back. “I don’t.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Eostre too.” She rocked back and forth.
“I could never hate you.”
She lifted her head and turned toward him, the tear stains on her cheeks making his heart wrench. “You don’t know that. You hardly know me at all.”
“Tell that to my soul.”
She started to look away, but he caught her cheek in his palm. “Ask your soul if it really believes that. We’re connected. You must feel it too.”
Her lower lip trembled, and she swallowed hard. “This prophecy, this… I don’t think…”
“Thendon’tthink. Just feel.” He grasped both her hands. “I have a feeling you sensed it the moment you met me. We both did.” They must have. Sure, he’d freaked and bolted, but the sudden amnesia would make anyone in a situation like that bounce. Truth be told, it wasn’t her he’d run from.
“I felt…I feel…” She took a deep breath. “I’m attracted to you, but this…you and me…can’t be. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be human and you’ll bea bird. A regular, non-verbal, no-human-side bird. You won’t feel anything for me.”
He squeezed her hands. “That’s not going to happen. I won’t let it.”
“Of course it is. You heard what Eostre said. I’m awry. I’ve brought about the end of days because I’m a fuckup. I always have been.”
“Don’t say that. Words and thoughts are energy. When you say negative things…”
“I draw negative energy toward me. Believe me, I know. That’s Angel 101.” She tugged from his grasp and wrung her hands in her lap. “I know all the rules. I try to follow them to the letter, but no matter what I do, what job the higher ups have assigned to me, I flub and someone gets hurt. I thought this assignment was the one I could do forever. Live on Earth with the supes and humans. Bake cakes for demons. I thought it would be easy peasy.”
She huffed a sardonic laugh. “Holy horns and halos, was I ever wrong. I gave the Easter Bunny amnesia.”
“That wasn’t your fault.” Why did she feel as if she were responsible for the entire world? A wallaby could catch a cold in Australia, and Destiny would find a way to blame herself. “And anyway, Eostre said it happened for a?—”
“Everythinghappens for a reason. I know that too.” She rolled her eyes and shot to her feet. “I used to be a guardian angel. I had the highest ranking, most coveted job a standard angel could have in all the realms. Did you know that?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off.
“No, of course you didn’t. No one knows.” She paced to her bookcase and rested her hands on a shelf. “I’ve never told a soul because I failed so miserably in that job.”
He shifted his weight on the sofa, angling toward her. “What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.”
“What do you think?” She laughed dryly. “I had twelve charges like every guardian when they first start out. I was supposed to watch over them, guide their decisions, and keep them safe. Again… Angel 101.”
“That’s a lot of people to be responsible for.”
“It’s not, though.” She strode to a chair and sank onto the arm. “Others had twenty, thirty. The elite could manage fifty or more.”
“Still…” Twelve seemed like a lot to him. Hell, he couldn’t imagine being responsible for anyone but himself.
“I lost one. A mother of two died of an opium overdose because I was too busy with another charge to step in and stop her. Her children were sent to a workhouse, and they…” She pressed her lips together and frowned.
“I can imagine that must feel awful, but people die every day. Surely every angel in the realm doesn’t take responsibility for each human death. That would be devastating.”
