I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deep for a second.“I don’t know.He might recognize me.He might think I’m his brother.He might be angry and yell at us.I don’t really know what we’re walking into right now.All my mom said was that morning was best.I guess he gets worse and less lucid later in the day.She had a name for it, but I can’t remember what she called it.”
Alice reached over and squeezed my hand.“No matter what happens, you know he loves you and he always will.Try to hold on to that.”
I nodded tightly.
She held my hand as we sat in the car for a few more minutes while I tried to get up the courage to go inside.After a few more deep breaths, I squeezed her hand and tipped my head.“Let’s go.”
Alice nodded, but she still waited for me to open my door before she opened hers.I smiled.I knew exactly what she was doing, and I appreciated it.
We held hands as we walked up the driveway and as I knocked and waited for someone to answer the door.After a long moment, the door opened and my mom stood there.
“Noah.”She smiled and stepped forward to give me a hug.
I dropped Alice’s hand and hugged her back.
After a few pats to my back, she pulled away but still hung onto my shoulders.“You look good.Really good.”
I would’ve liked to say the same, but the last two years have been really hard on my mom.She’d stopped coloring her hair, and she had so many more wrinkles than I remembered.But still, I smiled back.“You do too, Ma.”
“Ah, you’re a sweet boy.”She cupped my face for a second then let her hands fall as she took a step back.“But we all know that’s a load of baloney.”
Alice made a little gasping laugh, and we both turned to her.
“Mom, this is my friend, Alice.”
“Friend, huh,” my mom repeated skeptically as she shook Alice’s hand.
Alice’s face turned red, and she sent me a wide-eyed look.
I just lifted my shoulders.She was the one who didn’t want to put labels on this after all.
“Well, come on inside, both of you.Your dad’s having a good day so far, Noah.He’s inside playing cribbage with his nurse.Maybe you can take on the winner.”
I grinned.My dad had been obsessed with the card game as long as I’d known him, so there wasn’t a doubt who the winner would be.When I was growing up, he’d taken offense to the new math my teacher made us learn, so he’d decided I was going to learn addition by playing cribbage with him.For years, every day after school we’d sprawl out on the carpet of the living room counting to thirty-one and moving those little pegs around the board.
Damn, how had I forgotten about that?
And sure enough when we walked into the dining room, my dad and his nurse Nancy were sitting there with cards in hand.
“I get winner!”I called.
My dad’s head came up with a jerk, and then he was grinning back at me.“Joel!I haven’t seen you in forever.When did you get off on leave?”
My smile slid off my face, and I had to swallow hard before I could answer him.“Just got off today, D-Dan.How’ve you been?”
My dad jumped up from his chair and came around to give me a thumping hug, and it was all I could to hold myself together.I knew better than to correct him.Telling him he was wrong would only lead to tears and confusion.His doctors had told us it was better to play along with whatever memory or timeline he was currently in.
But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
I smiled through my tears and hugged him back.
Dad thumped my back one more time then turned to Alice.“And who is this pretty thing?”
“Uh, this is my girlfriend Alice,” I answered, hoping like hell we were in the timebeforemy Uncle Joel got together with my Aunt Bonnie.
My dad wagged his eyebrows at me then gave Alice a courtly little bow.“My dear, you look entirely too pretty for an ugly son of a bitch like Joel here.”
Alice smiled back at my dad.“Well, thank you, Dan.You’re too sweet.”
