But then I watched him walk away, much slower than the other guys jogging into the greenroom.Saw the tension in his shoulders.And the way he had his hands shoved into his pockets.Almost like he had to keep himself from reaching out for me.
Or so I chose to believe.
Because like Lark had said, it was time to put up or shut up.
And I was going to fight for our relationship.
I could only hope Noah wanted to do the same.
Chapter 31
Noah
I did the whole gladhand routine after our show, put on my happy face, and pretended like everything was all right.
But the drugs in my pocket pulsed like a beacon.All it was missing was the klaxon alarm alerting everyone to its presence.
Take me.Snort me.Smoke me.A little hit wouldn’t hurt.A little puff will make you forget all this shit.
The little devil on my shoulder was a son of a bitch, and I could feel myself weakening against his charisma.
Especially when I remembered the lines from Alice’s song.Each one was a slash to my soul.That she thought so little of me.That she had no problem singing those lines night after night and then crawled into my bed after.That she let me touch her when she thought so little of me.
But then maybe she really didn’t know who she was with, given the way she’d ran off after Jesse dropped his little truth bomb.I wasn’t that guy anymore, but maybe it didn’t matter.
After the last fan had left the building, I collapsed onto the couch in our greenroom.
And still I felt the drugs pulsing in my pocket.
Maybe I should just give in.What was the point if she didn’t want to be with me?I’d cleaned up my life, and it still didn’t matter.
Alone in the room since the other guys had disappeared with their wives, I pulled the drugs out and stared at them.Such a tiny thing, and it had total control over my life.Would make me feel so fucking good.Give me a high I’d spend an eternity either chasing or fighting against.
The door across the room opened and I jumped, stashing the drugs under my leg like that time I’d caught DJ with a pilfered treat.
“There you are!”Alice stood in the doorway, and I had to blink a few times because she looked genuinely happy to see me.
Maybe this was a dream?
Maybe I’d already taken a hit and I’d passed out.It was the only thing I could think that made sense.
When I just stared stupidly back at her and didn’t answer, she tilted her head and stepped into the room.“Are you okay?”
I didn’t know how to answer that.
Not really?
I’m fucking devastated?
Instead, I laughed harshly.“Are you fucking kidding?No, I’m not okay.I figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”She hesitated then crossed the room, stopping a few feet in front of the couch I was on.“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“’Lost Boys?’Your song that Parker stole?I figured out who it’s really about.That’s pretty fucked up, don’t you think?”
Alice frowned.“Not really.I didn’t know you were friends with Axel Harris.His band is shitty.Kinda surprised you guys even know each other, actually.”
“Who’s Axel Harry?”
