I nodded slowly.“If you ever need to talk, you can call me.Do you have my number?”
He pulled out his phone and we exchanged numbers, and then someone shouted his name across the room.
“See ya, Noah,” Russ shouted over his shoulder as he joined the coffee group forming on the other side of the room.
“Later, Russ.”
No one else was looking my way, so I slipped out of the church before anyone could guilt me into joining them.
Not that it would be a big deal for me to sit in a coffee shop.
I was the drummer.
Our band was one of the biggest in the country, and yet most people couldn’t pick me out of a lineup.I was just a Muppet with flailing arms and a mop of dirty blond hair on stage.If I hadn’t made that reservation at the Lamb in my own name the other night, I doubted our waiter would’ve known it.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’d been news, and they all had to do with my overdose in London.
Unless I was at death’s door, no one gave a damn what I was up to.
My face was two stories high on a billboard downtown, and most people still didn’t have a clue who I was.Which was why I spoke about my job in vague terms in meetings.The program might’ve been built on anonymity, but I wasn’t keen on testing it.
As I pulled away from the church in my blood-red Range Rover, my phone rang, interrupting Matt Cameron’s drum solo.I looked at the screen display and my heart sank as I readMOM.Still, I pushed the button and accepted the call.
“Hey, Mom.How’s it going today?”
“Oh you know, just another day in paradise.”She gave a husky laugh that missed all the notes of joy and sounded sad as hell.
My heart twinged in my chest as I changed lanes.“What did you have for lunch?”
I felt like shit.I never knew what to say in this situation.I know every single day was a struggle for her.I wanted to be there for her—and my dad too—but she wouldn’t let me.
“Agnes made your dad’s favorite club sandwiches.Which were delicious.Thank you again for hiring her; she’s a godsend.”
I smiled at the genuine note of happiness in her voice.“I’m glad she’s working out.Do you know what she’s going to make you for dinner tonight?”
“Cedar plank salmon with asparagus and couscous.I can’t wait.That woman is a magician in the kitchen.”
Considering how much she charged, she damn well should’ve been.But still, it made me so fucking happy to be able to help her out even a little.“Great.I’m jealous.I think it’ll probably be drive-through fair for me.”
“You better eat something healthier than that garbage, Noah Jacob Hawker.You know your father and I raised you better than that.”
“Yes, ma’am.”But I rolled my eyes like any man in his thirties getting scolded by his mother would’ve.“Have you heard from Faith lately?”
“She called yesterday.I guess she and her family are going to the Bahamas next week?Some work thing Warren has that they have to attend.They’re turning it into a family vacation so they’re taking the boys.And that also means they won’t be able to attend your opening show…”
I wanted to snort in disbelief, but that would mean I wasn’t expecting this news.Apparently, I’d humiliated Faith and her husband who were very devout members of their Episcopal church in Seattle.Having a brother who was a rock star was embarrassing, having one overdose overseas and it make headline news was mortifying.
“And I’m afraid it’s looking like I’m not going to make it either,” my mom continued after my pause.
I coasted to the red light and let my head fall back against my headrest as I closed my eyes for a second.I tried for a jovial note when I finally spoke.“Nah, that’s okay, Ma.I didn’t really expect you’d be able to come.”
“I really wanted to, honey.But it’s just so far, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving your father for that long.And you know he can’t travel now.”
I nodded as tears burned under my eyelids.My stronger-than-life father wasn’t able to handle a conversation anymore, let alone navigate a two-and-a-half-hour flight.“I know, Ma.It’s okay.I’ll send you all some shirts.We got this new girl doing drawings of all our faces.It’s awesome.Like some crazy van Gough shit.You’ll love it.And I’ll send some for Faith and the kids.”
A horn honked behind me.
I opened my eyes, took in the green light and lack of traffic, and floored it.
