“You don’t have to tell me that.I know exactly who Alice is.”
Grady’s lip curled.“Up until a few weeks ago, you were doing everything in your power to make her life miserable.Because, trust me, we all noticed what a dick you’ve been.And she doesn’t even know all the bullshit you’ve done.Do you think she’ll still want you when she knows who you really are?”
I’d done a lot that I wasn’t proud of.Especially on the road, traveling with groupies who wanted a piece of me, drugs and alcohol on tap, and living everyday like there was no tomorrow.I’d hurt people with my selfishness.So many people.Friends.My family.Coworkers.Fans.I was trying to make amends for it, but was it even possible to make up for it all?
And what about all the stuff I’d done that I couldn’t remember?The thought haunted me.
“What do you think everyone’s going to think about Alice when they hear she’s with you?She’s on the verge of finally breaking out of your shadow.Her band is going places, and no one’s going to respect her once they hear that she’s with you.”Grady shook his head much like I’d remembered my dad used to before my family imploded.“This thing between you two will hold her back.People are going to think one of two things—either she slept her way into her deal or that she’s a druggie like you.”
Shit.
His words landed like little bombs going off in my conscience.
Maybe he was right.Maybe people would make assumptions about Alice because of me.Maybe I would hold her back.
And given the way she’d run off—and continued to duck me backstage ever since—maybe she agreed.
“I’ve been at Alice’s side long before you ever saw her.She leans onme.She asksmefor help when shit gets tough.Can you say the same?”
I couldn’t.Alice didn’t really lean on me.She fought hard for herself.But she never once asked me for a hand up in the industry or with a booking or even with handling the shit with Parker just now.She was always surprised when I showed up at her shows and helped them tear down.She’d never once invited me to come.
I constantly had to chase her and make her accept my help.
It felt like he’d reached into my chest and ripped out all my insecurities and rubbed them in my face.He was right.
He was right about everything.
He was right about me and what a fuck up I was.
“Here.”Grady tossed something at me.
I dropped my sticks and caught it out of reflex.It was a small baggy with a vial of white powder, a blunt, and a rolled up hundred-dollar bill.
“A little something from the good ol’ days.”
And then he was gone.
Leaving me alone in the large storage room with a baggie of drugs and a hell of a lot of self-doubts.
Chapter 29
Still Noah
I stashed the baggie in the front pocket of my jeans and felt like that guy inThe Telltale Heartfor the next hour.While we went through our usual preshow toast, I thought about the drugs.
While I laughed with the guys in the wings as we listened to our opening act, I thought about taking just one little snort.
When we took the stage and the fans screamed for us, I thought about how marijuana was legal in Nevada now.No one would think twice if I smoked it.What would it harm?
And when we got to the middle of our show, I was obsessing about the baggie when Chase diverted from his usual banter.
“I don’t know if you’ve all heard the new song from Alien Attraction—” Chase had to pause when a few women screamed.“Wait ‘til you hear what I have to say before you cheer.It’s now my life’s mission to get you all to change your minds.”
Cell phone lights popped up all over the arena.No doubt in a few minutes this next part was going to be all over social media and then the news.
Good.
“Right.”Chase laughed softly and shook his head.“I guess I’m thinking twice about that record-at-will policy we have.”He turned back and looked at the three of us standing behind him.
