I dropped my head against my headrest as my SUV idled in the parking lot of the Oasis Resort.“So there’s this girl—”
“It’s not your drum tech, is it?”
“What?Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Goddammit.I owe Jesse a grand.”
“Did you seriously bet against me?”
Mal scoffed.“I saw how you and what’s-her-name were sparking when I was there for your opening show.I could tell you were into her, but I really thought her anger went deeper than that.Clearly, I was wrong.”
“And Jesse bet we’d be a couple?”I felt a warmth spread through my chest at the thought of my bandmember’s approval.Especially from Jesse, he’d been a fuckboy for so long before Ella.
“Not exactly how he predicted it to go down.Pretty sure he used the words hate-fuck, but is that why you’re calling me?You getting serious with your tech?”
I had to blink a few times at Jesse’s description of me and Alice getting together before I registered Mal’s question.“Serious?I…”
I sighed.I was having a hard time getting my thoughts together.
“Is she pregnant?”
“No.Fuck.Why’s that the first place you went?”
“You sounded kinda freaked out.It would freak me out.Has freaked me out.So far they’ve all been false alarms though—thank god.What’s going on with you?”
“I just…What do you think about recovery and relationships?Is it possible?”
“A healthy relationship can be one of the most important factors in recovery.It’s why step eight is so important.You need people around you that care about you, that want to make sure you stay sober.”
I hummed my agreement.
“That said, I’ve never actually been able to sustain a relationship like that.Most women aren’t fans of life on the road.It’s like finding a fucking four-leaf clover.”
Clover made me think of Alice.She had that deodorant that promised a fresh clover scent.I almost bought a stick of it to have around when I couldn’t be with her.Sweet.Fresh.Just like her.“But it’s possible.”
“As long as it’s not built on codependency, which yours obvious isn’t since Alice doesn’t use.She doesn’t, right?”
“Nah, she’s a one-drink max kinda woman.And honestly, I think most times that’s just to go with the flow.I don’t think I’ve ever seen Alice even drunk.”
“Good.She seemed like the solid, dependable type when I met her.”
“Only…” I sighed.“She doesn’t want anyone to know about us.Says she doesn’t want people thinking she’s with me for my connections—that she’s sleeping her way to the top.”
“Top of what?Is there a position above drum tech that she has her eye on?”
“She’s started a band.And they’re good—real good.They’re making some traction in the local scene, and it’s only a matter of time before they sign with someone.”
“Meanwhile, you’re all twitterpated and want to tell everyone you’re together?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m happy.I feel like things are clicking in place finally.I don’t want to lie to everyone—especially not the guys.Rigorous honesty is part of the program, right?”
“Right.”Mal sighed.“Sounds like a conversation you need to be having with your woman.Tell her how you’re feeling.If she’s as awesome as you say, she should care about your feelings too.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“And for what it’s worth, man, I’m happy for you.Glad one of us has managed to find a woman who gets this life.”
“Thanks.I appreciate that.”
