Ryder swoops in. Right before his lips touch mine, he stops and grins at my startled gasp and how I leaned forward to meet him halfway. “Maybe I do, little sister.” He regards the monster dildo, then steps away from me. “I think this one is perfect.”
I chase after him as he walks away, heading straight to the cash register. “Wait!”
He ignores me and sets the box on the counter, then fishes his wallet out of his pocket. The clerk doesn’t bat an eye as she scans the barcode.
“Would you like to add lube and toy disinfectant?” she asks.
Ryder gives me a sideways glance, his expression flat. The humor shines in his eyes, though. He turns back to the clerk and nods. “Yeah, go ahead and add those, too.”
The clerk nods and adds a medium-sized bottle of lube and toy cleaner. Ryder pays, then takes the black plastic bag with all the new items.
“I can’t believe you did that,” I say.
Ryder shrugs and guides me out of the store. I watch in real time as his playful demeanor switches to a blank slate in the snap of a finger.
Guilt stabs at me.
It’s my fault he has to do that. All because I’m too embarrassed and selfish to want us to act like a couple in public.
“How do you do that?” I say without thinking it over first.
Ryder turns his head toward me. He doesn’t say anything, but I can see the question on his face.
“Turning off your emotions. How do you do that?” I stay in step by his side as we walk past shops.
Ryder turns away from me, shutting me out. He stays silent for a while as we wander aimlessly. Soon, we’ll have to join our friends at Lucky’s or Nova and Olivia will come looking for me.
“I don’t know,” he says, finally breaking the heavy silence. “It’s something I’ve done since I was a kid.”
“You’ve done it since we first met in that restaurant.” I chew on my bottom lip and peek at him. “Did something happen to you?”
Ryder’s shoulders stiffen, his spine straightening. His strides elongate, and I have to power-walk to keep up with him.
I want to hit myself for asking him that question. Especially out of the blue and with no tact. Ryder has shut everyone out for years, including me, and I’ve always wanted to know why. His little comments and reactions after I thought we were about to die in a motorcycle accident have been replaying in my head.They’re little clues to something much deeper than what’s on the surface.
“Ryder,” I say, and touch his arm.
His steps falter, and fury twists his features as he turns to face me. I drop my hand and back away from him, only for him to follow me and pin me against the banister. My mind sends me back to last night, when Justin held me over the edge on the patio, fury written over his face as he threatened to hurt me.
Ryder drops the Spencer’s bag and plants his hands on either side of me on the ledge. “How about this, doll? You tell me what happened when you ran from Justin, and I’ll tell you why I shut down so fast.”
My head rears back, and I stare at Ryder.
If I tell Ryder what happened, he'll lose it and go after Justin. He threatened to dismember him the other night, and I wouldn’t put it past him to keep his promise. I’m not trying to defend my fiancé, but I don’t want his blood on my hands. Or Ryder’s.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say.
A muscle jumps in the corner of his jaw, and he glares into my eyes for what feels like forever before he drops his hands and steps away from me. His expression fades, and the blank mask is back on.
My heart cracks.
He’s closing me out again.
I grab the Spencer’sbag and cast it a sullen look as I follow Ryder. His strides are long, but not as quick as they were before. We end up bumping into our friends just as they walk out of Lucky’s.
Olivia notices my change in mood and slinks up to my side and whispers, “You okay?”
I force a smile and nod. “Peachy.”
