“What’s that?” I face him and reach out, wanting to touch him. He laces his fingers through mine and holds our hands to his chest, right above his heart.
He’s quiet for a moment as he brushes his thumb over my skin. “Do you remember when we were kids and you asked me for help with your homework?”
“Yeah.” I remember it clearly. He was so annoyed with me and didn’t want to be near me. I begged him for help, and he gave in after I said I would be a good girl.
“Why did you flinch?”
Everything in me stills as I’m thrown into the past and the horrible things that were done to me.
“Flower,” he coaxes.
I take a deep breath and step closer to him until my chest brushes against his. He loops his arm around my lower back, holding me in place.
“Before Mom married our dad, she dated a man for twoyears. I must have some bullseye on me where everyone wants to pick on me. Her boyfriend was awful to me. When she wasn’t in the room, he always told me how worthless I am. He made fun of my weight and even mentioned how no one would ever want to be with someone like me.”
Jaxon’s heart beats faster, and his chest rises and falls in quick breaths.
“I won’t give all the details, because I don’t want you blacking out.” I cup his cheek with my free hand. He leans into my touch, and I smile softly. “There were times he slapped me. I used to ask him for help with my homework, and when I didn’t understand and answered the questions wrong, he’d hit me and call me stupid.”
I won’t tell Jaxon about Mom seeing it happen. She walked in a handful of times and didn’t say a word. Sometimes, she joined in.
He grinds his teeth, and I wince at the sound. “And when you said that you’d be a good girl...?”
“Because I firmly believed he hit me because I was bad,” I say. I realize now how wrong it was and that none of what happened was my fault. Sadly, I’m a magnet for horrible people who let out their anger on me. It’s only by a miracle that Jaxon stood up after he witnessed how I’m treated.
Jaxon swallows audibly, and he crushes me to him, leaving no space between us. I rest my cheek against his chest and squeeze my eyes shut.
He cups the back of my head and kisses the crown. “I’m so sorry for every terrible thing I said to you. I was an angry kid and took it out on the wrong person.”
I smile. “You’re still angry.”
He chuckles and tightens his arm, then loosens it to let me breathe. “For all the right reasons.”
I think about my next question, but I’m nervous about asking. The last thing I want is to upset him. The tiny voice inthe back of my mind reminds me that we’re close and there isn’t any question he won’t answer.
“Why do you hate being touched?” I finally ask.
He doesn’t hesitate. It’s like he’s been dying to tell me and has been waiting for me to ask. “My mother and her friend violated me at a young age.” He pauses for a moment. “They didn’t rape me. Just...touching.”
My stomach sinks like a stone in the ocean. I wish I could see his face and let him know through my gaze that I’m here for him. Perhaps he finds it easier to tell me his story without fear of judgment because I’m blindfolded.
“That’s one reason why I was so angry. I’m still angry about it. I swore I wouldn’t date or have anyone touch me. But there you were. Waltzing into my life like a ball of sunshine and ribbons, eager to talk to me. I was already pissed about my mother, then learning that our father had a mistress. It confused me, and the only outlet I had was you.”
He unwinds his arms from me and unties the blindfold. The scrap of silk falls from my face, but I keep my gaze on him as he looks down at me with regret and sadness in his dark eyes.
“I’m sorry, Dahlia. For every unkind thing I said to you and for not being there for you in the beginning.”
I push onto the tips of my toes, ease his mask up, and press my lips against his. “All is forgiven, big brother.”
He groans and deepens the kiss. His arm loops around my lower back and pins me against him. His erection presses against my lower stomach and grinds into me as he takes control of the kiss.
I lean into him with a sigh that ends on a soft moan. He drags his gloved hand under my crop top and cups my breast. His touch starts off gentle and becomes rougher. He’s close to losing control of his inhibitions, and I don’t mind it at all.Knowing my brother, he won’t let me get a wink of sleep tonight.
“Is the Reckoning the reason you didn’t have sex with me?”
Jaxon pauses. “We’ve had sex, Dahlia. Is all that time really that forgettable?”
I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant.” Craning my neck, I nuzzle against his throat. “I meant you fucking my pussy. I didn’t understand why you never wanted to and always preferred my ass.”
