I don’t want to die.
How cruel was life that when I’d tried to end my life years ago, I was brought back only to have something else take me out?
Does this mean Dimitri will die, too?
My breathing picked up, and I slipped my phone into my skirt pocket with a shaky hand. I spun around and strode out of the room and down the hallway. Dimitri’s office was near the end, but it felt miles away. I passed a lawyer who held a teal disposable coffee cup, and our gazes met. I stopped breathing as his rugged face morphed into an evil smile, his eyes turning bright red.
A scream caught in my throat, and I ratcheted my pace into a jog. I swung Dimitri’s office door open and lunged inside the room. My chest tightened until it became hard to breathe, and everything around me warped like a funhouse of mirrors. I closed the door, attempting to calm my breathing, but it only worsened as my mind kept focusing on the impending doom of the end of the world. The room spun, and I squeezed my eyes shut to block it out. I covered my ears as hundreds of voices talked at the same time, like I was standing in the middle of a crowded room.
“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered, repeating this phrase until I believed it.
I barely registered the sound of the door behind me softly clicking shut. I whirled around, my eyes flying open. Dimitri tilted his head, his gaze sweeping over me. His eyes softened as he recognized the panic rushing through me. His hand swept forward, directing me to the couch as he carefully stepped toward me. “Let’s sit down, sunshine.”
“Okay, okay, okay, okay,” I mumbled, following him to the couch. We sat down at the same time, and he kept space between us, never touching me. I avoided looking into his eyes, and I gasped for air as the fist around my heart tightened.
We’re doomed. We’re all going to die.
Dimitri leaned back in his seat and draped an arm over the back while resting his ankle against his other knee. “Listen to my voice,” he said softly.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and fisted my fingers into my skirt. Sucking in a breath, I looked at the pile of paperwork on the floor where I had stood before Dimitri came in. Through the haze of my panic and voices in my head, I realized I still needed to make copies, but I couldn’t force myself to get up and go to the printing room.
“Tell me about the book you’ve been reading,” Dimitri said.
It was still so surreal that he talked to me like he didn’t hate me. Once upon a time, he degraded me—he still did in the bedroom—and treated me as if I was stupid.
“Sunshine,” Dimitri said, bringing me out of my racing thoughts.
I licked my lips. “I-it’s a...it’s a romance story about...about a girl falling for her best friend. He doesn’t care about her and uses her. He even dates her bully but gives the main female character—Samantha—mixed signals.”
I dug my fingers into my knees, my limbs trembling, and that fist around my heart slowly released, making it easier to breathe.
Dimitri dipped his chin in a slight nod, urging me to keep talking.
“Sh-she’s upset years later when he proposes to her bully. She gets drunk, and her best friend’s older brother takes her home, telling her to get her act together.”
“Hmm.” Dimitri bounced his foot on his knee while he listened to me. The pace was slow, like he was stretching it by doing so. “Does she get with the older brother?”
Everything stopped spinning, and the room became clearer. I hadn’t gone into a full schizophrenic episode, but I would have had Dimitri not come in when he did. I swallowed hard and looked at him. He watched me with softness in his eyes and canted his head to the side, hanging on my every word.
I nodded. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Dimitri slowly blinked. “Tell me more.”
I furrowed my eyebrows as I reflected on what I could remember. My tense shoulders loosened, and I released a shaky sigh. “I’m at the part where...”
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
“Tell me more,” I mumbled under my breath.
Dimitri still watched me with intrigue, and I had to glance away from him because of how nervous I got when he stared at me.
“Do you need to look?” he asked gently.
“Sorry?” I bunched my eyebrows together as I tried to understand what he meant.
