Slapping my hands against my stomach, I hunched over to stop it as it began branching out to the rest of my body. I grimaced with a groan as the fire and zaps shot through my body again like a bolt of lightning.
“What’s happening?” I wheezed.
Death cocked his head, embarrassing me for asking because of the way he silently made it seem like it was obvious. He raised his hand, and without me really seeing his face, he pinched his chin with his index finger at the top and his thumb hooked under while his other fingers curled into a loose fist. From the way he did it, it looked natural and like a habit of his.
“I think you know.”
I shook my head, groaning as it felt like my chest was breaking in half. It ached so badly; it was like someone was trying to punch their fist through to snatch out my heart.
“I don’t though,” I groaned, the sensation of my lungs squeezing for air. Followed by my mouth filling with cotton and my throat drying until it was like sandpaper. My chest expanded with it, tightening until the sounds of panting breaths—that didn’t exist where I was—escaped my body.
“He’s trying to bring you back to life.” Death took a step toward me, dropping his hand back to his side. “But I won’t let him. You need to do it yourself.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I composed myself, willing away the pain. When I felt like I could stand without swaying, I straightened as I met Death’s gaze.
“I can’t bring myself back to life.” My thick tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth with every word. I thought since he was here wherever I was, he would make it easier for me to talk, but that wasn’t the case. And it was frustrating.
A soft groan came from Aaliyah’s room, followed by a crack, then a thump. Over and over in a cycle, like it wasn’t something to escape from.
What was going on?
I peered over my shoulder, dread and heartbreak squeezing my chest. I turned back to Death again with pleading eyes.
“Is she dead?” I whispered.
I knew the answer but didn’t want it to be true.
Death gazed past my shoulder toward Aaliyah’s room. His ice-blue eyes flared with anger as he stared at the hallway, like he could see past the walls and right into the bedroom at her. His eyes held the same eeriness to them like what I’d seen Estrid’s do in my dream before we were all attacked. There was a certain type of supernatural intelligence in them that wasn’t human. Which I knew he wasn’t. He was an angel. But looking at them scared me, reminding me of the boogeyman.
“Yes.”
My stomach dropped fast and hard, like the first hill of a rollercoaster.
I wasn’t sure how I could feel like I was still alive if I didn’t really have a body.
“Why is she... why is she being punished? Is this Hell?”
Death’s eyes landed back on me, all anger gone and replaced with calm. But they were piercing as he watched me like he could see everything I was. Like he could peel back every layer of me and knew what made me,me. Every sin I’d done in my life. Every misdeed and every harsh thought I had about someone who had upset me at the time.
“No.”
He wasn’t a talker, was he?
Lifting my chin, I gave Death my best hard look.
“Why is she being punished if this isn’t Hell?”
“Many reasons you shouldn’t be concerned about.”
“Where am I if this isn’t Hell?”
“The In-Between.”
I never heard of the In-Between.
“So... so am I not going to Heaven then?”
“No.”
