My lips parted, and my cheeks warmed.
I was talking to myself? Or, well, to...
I swallowed hard. “I think I just need to sleep.”
Sleep was the last thing on my mind, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. But I was scared of what would meet me in my dreams now that I could remember them. Some of them, anyway. And I was terrified I would dream about all the events that happened in the last twenty-four hours and watch everyone die again.
God, if I could cut that off and never remember dreams and the feelings from them again, I would.
Rune’s eyes bored into mine, challenging meagainto connect the link and hear what he was thinking. When I didn’t, his frown deepened, and he shifted a slight step back, still holding my neck in his tight grip.
At whatever thought passed through his mind, he nodded, let his hand drop, and took another step back. I knew he wanted to say something because of the way his jaw worked and his lips parted just the tiniest like he was about to speak. At the last second, he changed his mind, his eyes shuttered, schooling his features from giving anything away about how he felt.
My stomach knotted until it felt sour, like I was about to puke stomach acid. The pain went deeper until it felt like my soul was about to shatter from Rune’s suffering.
My fingers twitched, my palms tingling with wanting to touch him. Or grab his hand at the least to comfort him.
But why couldn’t I force myself to move? Why couldn’t I reach out and grab onto his hand while telling him how much I loved him? How much he meant to me and how I didn’t want him to know just how much I was hurting. And how scared I was with the numbing cold when he wasn’t touching me and spreading his fire through my body.
I was selfish.
I was stupid.
While in the In-Between, I wanted him and wanted to kiss him without fear. Without anxiety and to show him how I felt about him. How I didn’t want to live without him and die when he did so we were always together.
And here I was, standing frozen in front of him, warring with my body to move. Struggling with opening up to him while pushing everything below the surface to never see the light again. All the pain, struggles, death, and fear... all of it shoved down so deep until it drowned and sunk to the bottom of the endless abyss.
All the while, I wanted him to gather all my broken pieces and put me back together.
I didn’t come back the same when I shattered before I died. And I wanted to be held while at the same time not wanting him to see just how fucked up I was.
He’d blame himself, and I didn’t want that.
Rune sighed while grabbing me and pulling me into his arms for a hug. I stood frozen in his hold, lagging on catching up. My mind went blank, and my heart hammered in my chest as I struggled with the fact that he was doing just what I wanted.
After a moment, I melted into his embrace and looped my arms around him. Squeezing my eyes shut, I swallowed around the lump in my throat as I held back the building sob. My eyes stung, and my forehead and temples became tight to almost painful as I struggled to reign everything back.
Everything around us melted away until it was us in our own world. Where no one could harm us and take us away from each other.
“I love you,” Rune murmured into my hair.
I melted further into him and swallowed around the thick lump in my throat.
“I love you too,” I whispered back.
He stroked the back of my head and gave me one last squeeze before he stepped back, dropping his arms back to his sides.
The real world bled back around us, causing my chest to squeeze. The sense of danger came back, and my hands trembled as I peeked up at him through my eyelashes.
“Let’s get your items and go.” He grabbed the cart and waited for me to be right by his side to maneuver around the aisle with him.
I silently followed, lost in myself, not really thinking of anything. My mind blanked, and it was one of the greatest reprieves I’ve had.
There, in the silence in my head, I felt safe. Like brick walls towered around me, preventing anything from coming in and ruining my peace.
Rune guided me around the store, grabbing things and holding them out to me, silently asking if I wanted them. The only thing I could do, and was aware of, was give a slight nod.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed before we were at the only open cash register. The same brown-haired woman with a messy bun and tired eyes handled our purchase. Her stare held questions that she didn’t voice as she kept glancing at Rune, then me, and all the items he had grabbed.
