“It’s fine, honey,” Mom said, cutting him off. She shakily sighed into the speaker. “When I found out I was pregnant with you, I was pleasantly surprised. I felt you before I took the test andknew. Your father and I wanted to wait for a while till we had kids and were careful. And then I got pregnant after all the precautions we took. But it didn’t matter because you were loved. Wanted. Needed.”
Rune’s hand on my thigh tightened and would most likely leave a bruise. I winced, glancing at him, and watched all the turbulent emotions cross over his face. And even though our link wasn’t connected, I still somehow felt it with him. I placed my hand over his, wanting to comfort him. His fingers relaxed, his ocean eyes landing on my face, searching for something as he stared at me.
“I knew you were needed, and not just for me or your father. But something bigger. Greater. And that you’re a blessing.” Mom’s voice wavered, and I could hear the pain she felt. Rune’s hand tightened again, and even his breaths shook. Because we both knew what was going to happen. Where the story was going. “At thirty-seven weeks, you stopped moving. I was so scared that I lost you. I called the doctor’s office and then your dad to take me to the hospital so they could check on you. All I could do the entire time as I waited was beg you to move. To show me you were okay and hadn’t given up on life so fast.”
I swallowed hard, barely hearing Mom’s voice over my pulse pounding in my ears.
“When I had tests done and then the ultrasound, they found you dead. The umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck.”
Without warning, Rune swept me up and sat me sideways on his lap to hold me close. I peered up at him, and my heart broke when I noticed the glassy look in his eyes from unshed tears as he stared at me. He kissed my forehead and rested his hand on my stomach as he held my phone with the other. But he kept touching me, kissing the crown of my head and over my face, like he couldn’t stop himself.
Rune was in distress. Like he was experiencing the same soul-shattering torture I went through when he was hurting. Or when I feared he would leave me and I’d never see him again. Maybe he was imagining me dying in the womb and never finding me in this life. What life would be like if I wasn’t here. I couldn’t bring myself to think about not being alive and with him right now.
Would I have reincarnated?
I wanted to comfort Rune. I wanted to turn on his lap, wrap my arms around his neck in a hug and kiss his face like he did to me so often. But my mind blanked as I tried to wrap it around what was just said.
How the hell was I alive? I died in the womb... how was this possible?
Mom sniffled as she attempted to keep her crying silent. I knew without even being there that Dad was holding her. Mom’s happiness was put above his own, and making her smile was his duty. Something he absolutely loved and always strived to do every day.
“I had to be induced into labor that day. That was the darkest day of my life that ended as the brightest. As I gave birth to you, I cried because I thought I’d never get to meet you and see your fiery spirit. Never witness the stubbornness you showed in my belly as you kicked and elbowed me.
“Then I heard the nurses gasp and the doctor’s mumbled shock that you were alive. And then your cries. Your wonderful cries after you drew breath into your tiny lungs.”
Mom sniffled, and I caught the few soft cries she muffled. Rune’s arms tightened around me, and he leaned down to kiss over my face as he showered me with more of his love. His hand stroked over me in different places, never stopping as he found the comfort he needed that I was here with him.
Alive.
All I could do was sit frozen on his lap, still unable to wrap my mind around it. Then I remembered...
My past life.
I wasn’t human.
So when I was in the womb and died, did that mean I revived myself then, too? Was Death there with me and told me to return? He had to have been there since he told me earlier he controlled where the souls went.
“Thank you for telling us, Lana,” Rune rumbled, his voice thick.
At a crawling pace, I raised my eyes to his face again, not realizing I averted my gaze. My gut knotted at the tortured look etched over his face. His blue eyes shone with unshed tears.
And for the second time in the last few minutes, I wondered if he felt the same soul-deep pain for me. As if he were experiencing the same torture I went through in my mom’s womb as I died.
It cemented my acceptance of us being soulmates. I believed before that we were the same soul, but now it hit me like a ten-ton truck.
We were two halves of the same soul. When together, we were whole, and everything became intense because we’d gone so long without each other. We breathed life into each other. Made everything brighter, richer, and worth being here in this world.
My feelings were always off the charts with him, and I understood why now. Even though I was a carefree kid and had a good childhood, I had felt the loss of Rune. I just didn’t understand it at the time. And all those attempted relationships, trying to find the one to go all the way with, failed because my body and soul knew it was only Rune for me.
My past self was clam-jamming me this whole time.
It all made sense now as I sat on his lap, watching him suffer in his turmoil because of me being hurt.
Reaching up, I cupped his cheek and made him meet my eyes. When he did, I gave him a small smile and rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone.
“It’ll be okay,” I whispered.
He leaned into my touch, his eyes warming as he gave me a gentle smile that was reserved for only me.
