I wanted to go to her side and tell her how much I’d miss her. How she didn’t deserve to be in the In-Between, punished for whatever reason. She deserved peace by being reunited with her family.
The Paradise the pastors talked about all those Sundays I went to church.
Rune gently took my hand in his larger one and walked with me to the bed. He sent comfort through our bond, his soul brushing mine. Goosebumps rose along my body from the different sensations. But it wasn’t something awful. It was... god, it was amazing.
Because with it came peace.
My muscles relaxed, stiff shoulders loosening and not curled in. But as we stopped moving, I stood on the side Aaliyah lay on, and my breaths grew harsher as my heart raced until I was sure it was going to break a rib. My stomach rolled with nausea as I looked over Aaliyah’s bloody face and the crushed side of her head until I was close to getting sick, but Rune helped me by taking it away. Or blocking it so I couldn’t feel it. Either way, I was thankful.
I reached out, brushing some of Aaliyah’s crusty hair from her forehead. My fingers reached for her temple, but I couldn’t make myself touch the area because of how my stomach began churning.
I didn’t have a strong stomach. Seeing the aftermath of killing those people while with Hluti made me throw up until it was only stomach acid coming up.
“Oh, Lee,” I choked out, my chin trembling. Rune wrapped an arm around my shoulder, holding me against his side to lend me his strength. “I’m so sorry I didn’t save you.”
I would’ve done it again if it meant saving her life. If I hadn’t stood there frozen in my spot, watching him stride to her with his intent clear. If I had run at him so he would have taken me, she’d be alive right now. She would sit up with a lopsided smile, telling me I should’ve seen my face while I thought she was dead. She wasn’t like that. But I was begging anyone who heard me for it to happen. For her to be just playing a cruel joke.
It was all a stupid, horrible joke that I’d never forgive her for. But she’d be fucking alive.
“Isa,”Rune growled, his voice low, holding a warning. His grip on me tightened until it stung. I snapped my gaze to him and winced with a whimper. He loosened his hold, glaring at me, his frustration rushing through the link. He wasn’t mad at me again, per se, but he definitely held some frustration toward me. “Don’t you go down that path.”
I knew he was a man of his word with his promises. So I knew a spanking was in the near future, but I didn’t stop myself as I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek to hold back what I wanted to say.
“How can I not blame myself?” I asked with a tremor in my voice. So much for holding it back. I swallowed around the lump thickening in my throat. His mouth opened, but I interrupted him. “The whole reason I had died was to save her. I didn’t want to see anyone hurt anymore because of me, and I finally did something about it. But it was all fornothingbecause she’s dead. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”
Rune’s face softened, and he turned me into his arms. He cupped my cheek as he leaned down, so his forehead rested on mine with his sharp eyes holding mine. The light from the bathroom shadowed his eyes with a small sliver illuminating them, giving the blue a deeper glow. It wasn’t noticeable like when they had the back glow, which I noticed a couple of times, but it was still something that gave him an unnatural look.
Not human look.
“Sometimes things don’t work out in our favor,elskan mín. There’s more out there that controls the wheels of Fate. You think it was all for nothing because you gave up your life to save someone, yet she still died. But that’s simply not true. Through your death, you went through a rebirth and rose from the ashes like a beautiful phoenix. I can already tell you that you’re stronger than you were, and you don’t see it. But just because your friend is dead doesn’t mean her time wasn’t up.
“The sisters of Fate and the Norns play a big role in everything. If you had saved your friend’s life, she would have died another way. And in my long life, beauty, I’ve learned that when someone is fated to die and their life has been saved, the next chance for Fate to take them is much worse. It continues to get worse as someone who isn’t meant to live keeps escaping death. And I’m sorry for saying this, but I’m glad she died and didn’t escape her death. I wouldn’t have been able to stand aside, watching you witness your friend go through something worse.”
I placed my hand over his on my cheek as my heart thundered. Images and scenarios played out in my head as I came up with the worst ways for Aaliyah to die. I winced, my stomach twisting as I kept torturing myself by imagining all the ways she could’ve died.
Rune’s invisible touch mingled with his physical on my cheeks, his lips brushing mine to bring me out of my head.
I swallowed hard and released a shaky breath. “What are the Norns?”
I knew about the sisters of Fate. I’d heard about them, but only enough to know they, of course, controlled the fates of everyone.
Rune sighed and kissed me softly again. I leaned in to deepen it, but he pulled away while dropping his hand from me. He glanced at the bed as he rubbed his mouth. I knew it was his sign of stress, and I wanted to take it away from him.
He turned his eyes back to me. “I’ll explain later, but you need to give your farewell to your friend. We need to leave soon.”
I nodded and looked back at Aaliyah. Leaning forward with my hand reaching out, I brushed more of her hair away like a mother would for a child. I tried to push all the guilt down beneath the surface of the aversion to touching her wounded face. It was not only the goriest I’d seen, but she wasn’t warm. She wasn’t cold either, but she didn’t have the heat of a living person. Her muscles were slackened, and it wasn’t natural.
I didn’t want to see any more deaths because I couldn’t handle it.
My heart squeezed, and with each beat it tightened a little more.
“I’m sorry, Lee. You didn’t deserve this,” I whispered, hoping she heard me in the In-Between.
Pulling my hand back as I took in her face one last time, I leaned into Rune and sighed as he wrapped his arm around my waist. His warmth helped chase away some of the numbing cold creeping on me faster.
I didn’t know how long we stood in silence, still by the side of the messy bed. I didn’t see Aaliyah as I receded into my mind, my sightless eyes locked on her. Rune’s two fingers tapping my side brought me back.
I blinked and sighed as I turned my gaze to him. “Can I keep some of her ashes to spread?”
