“Yeah, told her last night I’d have to break off for a bit today. She wasn’t happy, per usual. But she can’t say shit. This is business, and business means money. And Heather? Shelovesspending mine.”
Laughter erupts. Heads nod.
“Don’t they all, brother. Don’t they all?” Dice adds, dragging out even more laughs.
Sometimes, I think Heather spends my money like she wants to test the limits to punish me for how we started and what happened back then. And my mind, traitor that it is, drags me back to seventeen years ago.
Where I fucked up.
I was supposed to be a one-woman man. Instead, I ended up with an ol’ lady I didn’t choose—circumstance chose her. I don’t regret Luna. Never could. But the situation that brought her here? That I’ll regret forever.
Heather and I weren’t some boy-meets-girl story. We fooled around. That’s it. It should’ve never happened. I was already seeing someone—thesomeone. Everyone knew it. Heather didn’t care. She set her sights on the future Prez and got what she wanted.
And I lost everything that mattered.
The dayshewalked in and caught me slipping, I was stupid. Young. Caught up. Thought I was untouchable. Heather was beside herself, giddy at being caught. She got what she wanted, me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Whenshewalked in and saw it, it broke something in her. I saw it. That pain in her eyes. That painIput there. That’s the day I cried for the first time in years. Cried like a bitch because I knew I had destroyed something I could never fix.
After that, I drowned myself in booze and pussy. Let myself spiral. And somewhere in all that self-destruction, my anger turned onherinstead of myself. The guilt made me bitter. Made me a fucking prick.
I never claimed her. Not publicly. So the club didn’t protect her. The ol’ ladies didn’t stand with her. I know she heard the rumors. Knew about the club girls. But I swear, until Heather, I never slept with another woman while I was with her. Yeah, I let some girls suck me off, but I didn’tfuckthem.
...Which makes me sound like a complete asshole.
Because Iwasone.
The thing is, club life ain’t like civilian life. What happens here stays here. Doesn’t make it right, just is what it is. And I know she didn’t understand that. Didn’t get it. Didn’t deserve it.
Heather got pregnant, and because of our bylaws, claiming her wasn’t optional. Once she was mine, that was it. Locked in. We’d already lost the first kid, and she became obsessed withgetting pregnant again. She made it happen. And now, nearly two decades later, I’ve stuck it out.
For Luna.
I love that girl more than anything in this world. She’s my reason. My anchor.
But Heather? She wasn’t supposed to be my forever. She justis.
Sometimes I wonder ifshemoved on. If she found a nice, boring husband with a nine-to-five and a golden retriever. Maybe two-point-five kids and a house in the suburbs. Damn, I hope she did. She deserves all of it.
Sometimes, I wish I had...
Fuck.
Why the hell are these memories, these thoughts ofherfucking with metoday? I press my hand against my chest again, like I can steady my heart. Like I can stop this ache from growing.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Piper’s voice cuts through, dragging me back to the room.
The boys are laughing again, all of us settling into our seats.
Our chapel is sacred ground. Built by the old man. Steeped in blood, history, and legacy. This is where the real decisions get made. Officers and elite members only. We’ve got a separate space for the whole club to gather when we need it—but this room? This is the brain of the beast.
Each elite brother’s got eyes on different areas of the compound—families, businesses, crew behavior. They bringtheir info to me, so I don’t have every pissed-off ol’ lady or brother with a stubbed toe banging on my office door. Streamlining shit makes the machine run smooth. Keeps us lean. Sharp.
And right now, I need us to be sharp. Something about this Barone meeting feels off. And when shit feels off, it usually is.
Four
When you look back on your life. What will you see? I’ll see all of my fuck-ups.
