“Yes!” Niko bellows in my face. “You think I don’t know my own men? We’ve dragged them into the twenty-first century kicking and screaming, but there are some things that will never change.”
My heart clenches that they could be so cruel, but Niko is deadly serious.
“Now, I don’t want to see you or be near you. And I especially don’t want to hear any more beautiful lies coming out of your beautiful mouth. So go! I’m done with you.”
He points to the door, and tears blur my vision as I stumble towards it. My hand shakes as I reach for the handle, casting one last desperate look over my shoulder. But Niko has already turned away, his broad back to me as he braces himself against his desk in such a way that I know he’s battling to rein his temper in.
I flee into the hallway, my heart pounding and my mind reeling. The world tilts and spins around me, nausea threatening to overwhelm me, and all around me are the judgmental eyes of his soldiers. Our silent bodyguards. Oh god, they heard all that too?
Shame burns through me, hot and searing, as I stumble past them. Their faces are impassive, but I can feel the weight of their stares, heavy with condemnation and without a hint of pity.
I run blindly, my feet carrying me through the winding corridors of Niko's sprawling compound. Each step echoes in my ears, a pounding rhythm that matches the frantic beating of my heart. I need to get out, to escape this suffocating place that just recently I'd started thinking of as a real home. Stupid. Stupid, stupid.
The cool night air hits me as I burst through the front doors, gulping in deep breaths as I stumble down the steps. My mind races, trying to process everything that just happened. The marriage certificate, my real age, Niko's fury - it's all too much.
I hear shouts behind me, probably the guards alerting others to my disgrace. It all serves to bring me to my senses. What am I doing? I’m barely dressed, and I have nothing on my feet. If I leave now, I’ll probably never be allowed back in, which means I need to grab everything I can before Niko’s goons evict me bodily.
Turning on my heel I rush back inside, racing to the quarters that are no longer my place of refuge. I hastily get dressed and put on the first pair of shoes I find, then grab a duffel bag from the closet. My hands shake as I stuff it with clothes, toiletries, and the few personal items I've accumulated during my time here. Tears blur my vision, but I blink them away furiously. I can't afford to break down right now.
As I zip up the bag, my eyes fall on the balled-up marriage certificate I threw on the bed. A wave of nausea hits me as I smooth it out, staring at the unfamiliar name beside mine. Zack Kincaid. Who is he? And why would my mother do this?
There's only one way to find out. I need to contact Gabi, since Niko said he found all this in an email she sent me. I’ll check what she sent as soon as I get somewhere safe. She's the only one who might have some answers; I’ll never trust a word from my mother’s mouth again. If anyone can help me make sense of this mess, it's my sister.
I grab my phone and wallet, shoving them into the bag along with the certificate. As I sling it over my shoulder, I take one last look around the suite that has been my sanctuary in this cold, soulless compound. The silk sheets are still rumpled from where I lay, waiting for my husband’s return, a taunting reminder of our lovemaking this morning, when everything seemed so hopeful. Niko's scent lingers in the air, causing my heart to clench painfully, but I force myself to turn away, marching out of the room with as much dignity as I can muster.
The hallways are eerily quiet now, the guards conspicuously absent. Niko obviously sanctioned my departure. I never thought he’d ever allow me to leave so the thought stings more than I care to admit. He told me on our wedding day he’d never let me go, but I guess that was just another beautiful lie. Since he’s not stopping me, he really must be done with me. With both of us.
The thought is almost too much to bear, and I have to force it aside in order to function.
Outside, the night air is crisp against my tear-stained cheeks. It’s only when I stand on the steps to the compound, I realize I don’t have my car keys. Well, I’m not going back for them. I can’t bear to spend another moment under the weight of so many judgmental glares and such malicious condemnation. Besides, wherever I’m going, I won’t be able to afford to run it. I can’t even sell it, since it’s in Niko’s name, and if I need to travel out of the country to find my sister, I don’t want to waste what little money I have on airport parking. So instead, I slip through the perimeter gates on foot, the guard’s dark stare making me shudder so much that I hurry down the street instead of calling an Uber and waiting. Behind me, the imposing gates close with a finality that makes my chest ache.
A block away, I see a cab and wave it down. I have no idea where I’m going. My life hasn’t facilitated making my own decisions, so I just ask the driver to drop me at a cheap motel where I can stay the night and get my head on straight. I could go to Roisin’s, I know, but the journey from Brighton Beach to the West Village in Manhattan will still take thirty minutes, even at this time of night, and I really don’t want to talk right now. Plus, with a new baby, she needs her sleep. It’s all I can do to stumble into the dingy motel and pay for a room.
Tomorrow. Things will be better tomorrow.
Grabbing my phone to check the time, I groan when I see there’s only thirty-three percent charge left. This is my lifeline. I don’t have a laptop or a tablet, and I have a lot to organize, so my phone is it. That’s when I realize I’ve forgotten to pack my charger.
Fuck my life. Yeah, that just about sums it all up. As exhaustion hits, I power it down to save the battery until I can buy another, then crawl onto the bed.
It’s a relief to finally curl up on the lumpy mattress and simply lie down. Not that there’s sleep to be had. Instead, I allow the long pent-up tears to fall, until fatigue drags me into sweet oblivion.
Chapter Ten
LYAH
I was wrong. Nothing looks any better today. If anything, it’s all the more intimidating as I try to talk myself through all the things I have to do, and everything I need to make it happen.
First, I need cash. While I have a little money of my own, it won’t last long, and I need to save as much as I can if I’m going to raise a baby without support and without a job. The thought of that alone is almost enough to make me hide under the blankets again.
But I can't afford to wallow, so I force myself out of bed, wincing at the stale smell of the dingy room and my own unwashed body. The bathroom mirror reflects a stranger - puffy eyes, tangled hair, and a forlorn, haunted expression I barely recognize.
As I rush through a tepid shower, my mind races through different options. There’s a chance my credit cards are already cancelled, but with Niko being so distracted, and me leaving outside banking hours, I might get lucky. But I need to act fast before he freezes them.
Remembering the ATM in the motel lobby, I throw on yesterday's clothes and hurry downstairs, praying my cards still work. I need to withdraw as much cash as I possibly can before I have to start using my own tiny nest egg.
Relief floods through me when I'm able to withdraw the maximum daily limit. It's a decent amount on Niko’s black AMEX, but my luck runs out there, since I’ve depleted the ATM funds, so I need to find a bank before Niko gets a notification and stops any other transactions.
Since I didn’t unpack last night, it takes just seconds to throw in my toiletries and grab my coat, before I’m on the road. Luck is still with me as I manage to make similar transactions on all but one of the other cards I own. When the last is declined, I know they’ve either triggered security, or been stopped, so I dump them in a nearby trashcan. No way I’m keeping them on me if Niko decides to make a complaint of non-permitted use.
