I jumped slightly, not realizing how close he was standing.“Just processing everything.”
His eyes, dark and knowing, studied my face.“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I admitted, running a hand through my wind-tangled hair.“I feel like if I start talking about everything that happened today, I might not stop.And then I’ll probably cry, and honestly, I’m too exhausted for that right now.”
Pain nodded, understanding without pushing.“Fair enough.Why don’t you take the bathroom first?Hot shower might help.”
The thought of washing away the day’s events sounded heavenly.I grabbed my suitcase and headed for the bathroom, grateful for the moment alone.Under the hot spray of water, I let my muscles finally release their tension.The reality of my situation hit me in waves.I’d fled my home, my job, my entire life.I was now in a motorcycle club compound with a man I barely knew but somehow trusted with my life.I thought I should have some internal alarm going off, telling me how fucking stupid I was, but the only thing my gut was telling me was that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
When I emerged in a large T-shirt and yoga pants, Pain was sitting on the edge of the couch, his forearms resting on his knees.He stood as he looked up, his gaze perusing me from head to toe before he turned his head.
“You okay?”He didn’t look at me and for some reason, it felt like a rejection.
“Honestly?I have no idea.”I sank onto the other side of the couch, suddenly exhausted.“This morning, I was a prison nurse.Now I’m… what?A fugitive?A witness?I don’t even know what to call myself.‘Collateral damage’ sounds pretty appropriate.”I muttered the last part mostly to myself.
Instantly, Pain’s attention was squarely on me.“You’re alive.That’s what matters.”
“Because of you.”The words came out with heartfelt emotion that simply refused to be contained any longer.To my complete and utter horror, I completely broke down and started sobbing.
Chapter Seven
Pain
Her tears hit me like a fucking sledgehammer to the chest.I couldn’t stand it.Couldn’t stand seeing this strong, beautiful woman broken down because of what that piece of shit did to her.My hands clenched into fists as I watched her shoulders shake with sobs, and all I could think about was how I should have made Grayson’s death slower.More painful.The bastard got off easy with a quick snap of the neck.
“Nadine.”I moved closer, my voice rough.“Hey, baby.Look at me.”
She shook her head, burying her face in her hands before scrubbing at her eyes with her fingers and wiping her wrist under her nose.“I’m sorry.I’m being ridiculous.I should be stronger than this.”
“The fuck you should.”The words came out harsher than I intended, and she flinched.I forced myself to soften my tone.“You almost died tonight, Nadine.You’re allowed to fall apart.”
I reached for her, slowly, giving her time to pull away if she wanted.When she didn’t, I put my arm around her slim shoulders and pulled her closer to me until she turned into my chest.Her small frame fit perfectly against me.She smelled like the discount soap the club kept for surprise guests, and something uniquely her.A scent I’d dreamt about for far too fucking many nights.There was something clean and sweet about her that made my chest tight.
“I keep thinking about what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up,” she said.
I took a deep breath, forcing down the rage.It wouldn’t help her right now.What Nadine needed was comfort, not more violence.
I tightened my hold on her and she shifted, pressing more firmly against me.I’m not really sure how it started, but somehow, Nadine ended up straddling my lap with her knees on either side of my hips, her arms wrapped around my neck, crying like her heart was breaking.
“You’re safe now, honey.I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”
Her muffled sobs were like a knife to my heart.This vibrant, kind woman reduced to this because of that monster.Nadine wasn’t a woman who should ever be exposed to that kind of violence.No woman should.But Nadine was so gentle, so kind and good.In my eyes this was an abomination.
I nuzzled her temple, wanting only to comfort.“Nadine?”I kept my voice low and gentle as I spoke to her.
She looked up, her gray eyes red-rimmed and filled with pain.For a moment, we just stared at each other.I saw a flicker of relief in her gaze, quickly followed by shame.She tried to wipe away her tears, but fresh ones kept falling.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice hoarse as she visibly tried to pull herself together.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.Nothing at all.”
She gave a shaky laugh that was more of a sob.“I should be stronger than this.I’m a nurse, for God’s sake.”
“You’re the strongest person I know.You had to be, to work in that place.But you’re still here, still fighting.”
Nadine looked at me, her chin quivering.“Am I?Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions.”
“Honey, you forget I worked in hospitals with nurses on the outside.You have more compassion for the people you treat than any nurse I’ve ever met.I told you to work in a nursing home or a hospital, but I was wrong.”
