Chapter One
Nadine
One Year Ago…
There were days when I seriously had to wonder what the fuck I was thinking taking a nursing job in a maximum security prison.The routine for getting in and out was about what I expected.Tight.Every door had a card swipe and a keypad to enter a code.The guards were armed and plentiful, and in some cases, just as bad as the men they kept incarcerated.I wasn’t naive enough to think anyone in this place deserved anything less than what they got from both the government and the guards, but it was the whole power trip thing that left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
As I entered the infirmary, the heavy metal door clanged shut behind me, sealing off the outside world.I took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of disinfectant and despair that permeated the air.My footsteps echoed throughout the mostly empty ward.Nodding at the guards assigned in my area today, I gave them bright smiles.
“Morning, Nadine.”Officer Grayson, his bulky frame filling the doorway, gave me the creeps.He had since the first day I’d met him.He hadn’t done or said anything overt, it was just a vibe I got.Needless to say, I tried to keep to myself as much as possible.
“Morning,” I replied, slipping past him.The fluorescent lights flicked a couple of times before settling into their typical, harsh, unforgiving aura.Just another day at the office.
I set my backpack underneath my desk and got to work.I wasn’t the provider in this little clinic, but as the on-duty nurse, the ward was my responsibility.The night shift had either been relatively light or else someone got froggy and stocked and cleaned.I grinned.Had to be Lisa.She was always doing the little extras to make everyone’s life easier.
“Ready for battle?”Dr.Martinez breezed in.Of all the doctors I worked with here, she was by far my favorite.The petite Latina was in her early forties and a force to be reckoned with when she had to be.I couldn’t say the men she treated in here on occasion actually respected her, but they were well aware she held the keys to the medicine cabinet and the only way they had of getting anything from the clinic was to make nice with Dr Martinez.
I flashed a wry smile.“As I’ll ever be.”
Today was supposed to be mostly physical exams and initial assessments of new inmates.I hated new inmate days because these were men I wasn’t familiar with.Granted, there was always an inmate I didn’t know -- there were thousands of men here -- but I didn’t have to be up close and personal with most of them.There were always multiple guards to make sure nothing got out of control.
The day shift medical staff usually tried to come in a couple hours early to prepare.I liked the solitude in the mornings before I started my day.New inmate days were the exception.Everyone was here early in an effort to make sure everything went as quickly and smoothly as possible.
One thing I’d learned since I started working here was that nothing was what it seemed.Every inmate had a story, and they were never pretty.The sweetest little papaw ever had most likely killed, and done it without remorse.
Kind of like the older man sitting on the exam table in front of me.
“How’s the arthritis today, Mr.North?”I gave the elderly crime lord what I hoped was a kind yet professional smile.According to his file, Mr.Nicholas ‘The Judge’ North was head of a West Coast crime syndicate.He had killed more than the three people he’d been convicted of killing, some of them after he’d been put in prison.So yes.Always be nice to the elderly crime lord.
“Same as always, ma’am.Like someone’s taking a sledgehammer to my back.”Mr.North winced and shifted so he braced a hand on his lower back, like he was working the kinks out.That was something else.Every inmate without exception always addressed me as ma’am.It wasn’t because there was any real professional relationship.Not in the least.Every prisoner here knew they were more likely to get what they wanted if they were simply nice about it.If they weren’t belligerent, and kept their hands and bodily fluids to themselves, the staff was more cooperative to their wants.Also, every single one of them, without exception, would stab you in the kidney if they thought it would benefit them or in any way make life on the inside more comfortable.
I nodded sympathetically, making a note in his chart.“I’ll mention your pain to Dr.Martinez.They had you on some pretty powerful painkillers at your last facility.”
He shrugged.“Guess so.They barely touch the pain most days.”He waved off my concern, tuning me out now that he knew for certain I wasn’t the one who could get his dose increased.Or guarantee Dr.Martinez would keep him on the same medicine at all.
That’s pretty much how the rest of the morning went.I tried to always be respectful of the prisoners, addressing them by their last names, being courteous without being friendly.No matter how sweet the little old men were, or how charming some of the younger men were, they were predators.Every one of them.They weren’t my friends and didn’t want to be, except where it benefited them.There was a reason the inmates were never allowed outside their cells or general population areas without a minimum of two guards.Some of them, depending on how far they were being moved, required four guards.I’d seen more than one staff member let their guard down at the wrong moment and it never ended well.
It didn’t take the day long to get busy.My height made some inmates think they could intimidate me, but I’d learned to ignore their remarks and never get in their personal space unless they were restrained.My only goal was to make it out of this place in one piece.Every.Single.Day.
I’d thought about quitting more than once, but despite the obvious issues I actually loved my job.Corny as it sounded, I became a nurse to make a difference in people’s lives.I wished I could say I chose the population I thought was the most underserved or that no one wanted to serve, but the fact was, I had student loan debt and a federal job paid damned good, and the benefits were top of the line.While I doubted I’d make it the twenty years I’d need to retire, the job had grown on me.
I leaned against a counter, stretching my tight muscles in an effort to work out the stiffness.There was a mountain of work left yet, but it was time for a break.
“You okay?”Dr.Martinez asked, concern etching her features.
I nodded, straightening.“Just tired.Nothing a cup of coffee and a hot lunch won’t fix.”
“I hear you there.”She squeezed my shoulder as she passed.“Want me to bring you a burger from the café?”
“God, yes.”I laughed as I pulled out a couple of bills from my name badge holder.
Dr.Martinez stayed my hand.“Nope.I’ve got it.You paid last time and I’m not a freeloader.”We shared a laugh as she walked out the door and I went to my desk to work on my charting.
My computer dinged with a new email.As expected, it was the new transfer list.One thing I could say about management here was they ran the place like a well-oiled machine.Considering the innate chaos of the place, I thought it was commendable and likely the result of sheer stubbornness.
I liked to look over the files before we saw the new inmates so I knew what kinds of unique medical issues to expect.There were always the usual things -- congestive heart failure, diabetes, hypertension -- but occasionally I’d run into something like sickle cell anemia or different types of cancer.
“Anything interesting?”I turned as Dr.Martinez entered with our meal.She nodded at my computer.“It’s time for the incoming inmate list.Right?”
