Who was Justin?
“Well, you keep disappearing, and I have to wonder why? What are you hiding, Vivian?”
“I’m not hiding anything. Look, I left when he told me to. I haven’t gone back.”
“Where’s the baby?”
“I told you; I lost the baby. The doctor said it was stress. From being bullied by your father, no doubt,” she mumbled.
The man got closer to Mom. I wanted to go down there and shove him away. Who was his father? And what baby was she talking about?
The man grabbed Mom and kissed her. It was gross, but she didn’t push him away. I saw people kissing in movies, and I didn’t understand why anyone would want to suck on someone’s mouth like that.
Mom didn’t seem to mind though. She looked like the girls in those movies. Like she wanted to kiss him. I went back to Rose and climbed into the closet with her.
“What happened? Did you see him?”
“Yea.”
“Well? Who is he?” Rose asked. But I couldn’t tell her what I saw.
“I don’t know; I couldn’t hear them. That’s why I came back.”
“I wish we had a dad. If we had a dad, we wouldn’t have to hide. That man wouldn’t come here anymore if we had a dad,” she muttered. I knew she wasn’t really talking to me. Rose talked out loud a lot. She didn’t care who heard her. It was how she got stuff out.
I stayed quiet. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was thinking. Something else I learned from movies. If people didn’t know what you were thinking, then they wouldn’t know what you were doing.
One day I would be big enough that when the man came here, I would kill him. Rose and I would never have to hide again.
Chapter One
Kytten
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what, Kytten?” Dr. Jefferson asked.
“Any of it.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what to do.”
Dr. Jefferson and I sat outside behind the clubhouse. Cash offered to let us use his room, but I needed to get out of there. I wanted him to stay, but Dr. Jefferson suggested we start without him and see how it went.
So instead, he was sitting by the back door. Far enough that he couldn’t hear me. But close enough that I could see him. Close enough that he could get to me quickly if it became too much.
Outside was my suggestion, but now I felt like I was on display. It was too open out here. I was too exposed. I spent my life hiding, literally and figuratively, but now everything was out there.
My brother knew my secret.
Cash knew my secret.
Everyone in the clubhouse knew my secret.
“Is there anything specific you want to talk about? Or I could ask you questions. You can answer what you’re comfortable with. If you aren’t ready to talk about something, just tell me no. You make the rules here. We go at your pace.”
“Ok, I think if you ask me questions, that would be better.” I scratched at my leg. When I looked over my shoulder at Cash, he was jogging toward me.
“Baby, turn your chair.” He lifted me up and turned me around so that he was now in my direct line of sight.
“Cash—” Dr. Jefferson started, but he cut her off.
