“August.” I stood quietly by Amber when Val walked over to Bane. “I need you to step outside.”
He straightened away from the door and looked at Amber before turning a cold look toward Val. “Why?” A shiver ran through me at the sound of his voice.
“You know why.” Val was in doctor mode. Not momma bear mode. She knew this needed to be done. Bane knew too. It had to be hard to see your daughter beaten and bruised, while you thought about the ramifications of what might have happened to her.
The injuries you couldn’t see at first glance. And those that might be more painful psychologically than physically.
“Meredith,” he rasped, his voice filled with the emotion of a tortured father worried about his daughter.
“It has to be done,” she said resolutely.
They stared at each for a beat before Bane turned and left the room. He didn’t slam the door. He wouldn’t risk rousing his daughter before she was ready. When Val turned, her eyes were filled with tears.
“I can do this,” I offered.
She inhaled a stuttered breath. “No. You’ve been through enough today.”
I stayed with Val while she performed the exam. As she removed her gloves, a sob tore through her chest. I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her.
“She wasn’t raped. I don’t know who the bastard is, or why he hurt her, but thank God she wasn’t raped,” she whispered.
“I’ll stay with Amber. Take Bane and go upstairs. Find out what Massacre knows.”
“I should stay,” she murmured, her eyes on her daughter.
“There is nothing you can do until she wakes up. I’ll keep an eye on her. I owe her this.”
“This wasn’t your fault,” Val insisted.
I looked at the beautiful woman lying unconscious on the bed. “No, it wasn’t my fault. But I’m not completely blameless.” I turned back to Val. “I’m ok. I promise. You asked me to look after her. Let me do this. For you and for me.”
Val searched my eyes, looking for the lie. I knew it would take some time before I would be trusted again, and I was okay with that. It meant someone cared. It meant people loved me enough to make sure I wasn’t hurting and that I wouldn’t hurt myself.
It was all I’d ever really wanted.
A family.
Val left me with Amber, and I sat on the stool she had abandoned. I rolled up next to the bed and held Amber’s hand. I felt for her pulse. A heavy sigh slipped over my lips when I felt the steady beat in her wrist.
“You weren’t at all like I expected,” I said, talking softly to her. I wasn’t sure if she could hear me. Studies varied on whether or not people could hear their surroundings when they were unconscious.
It was probably the coward’s way out but it was easier to confess my sins when I didn’t have to look directly into her eyes.
“I wanted to hate you. Hell, I did hate you. So many years I resented you. I wanted to blame all my problems on you. I did blame all my problems on you.”
I looked at the floor as I spoke. Guilt and shame flooded my system. Only this time I let them.
I deserved them.
“I judged you unfairly. Nothing that happened to me was your fault. You were just my scapegoat. It was easier to blame the faceless woman who Val loved with everything she had. I was jealous of you and when I finally met you, I thought for sure you would be a bitch. You just had to be a good person, didn’t you?”
A small laugh bubbled out.
“I know we haven’t talked much since I’ve been here, and that’s my fault. You intimidated me. I wanted you to be a skanky club whore. I know how awful that sounds, but I wanted you to be a person Val was disappointed in. So she wouldn’t be so disappointed in me. That wasn’t fair to you.”
Amber squeezed my hand, and I knew she heard me.
“I’m so sorry, Amber. I’m sorry you found out the way you did, but give her a chance, okay? She loves you so much, and no one ever taught her how to be a mom. She’s fought her whole life for you. Fight for her. You deserve to have a mom who would burn down the world for you. If I’d told her about Syrena, I know she would have burned it down for me.”
