“You never could.”
Hmmpf.He didn’t have any issue yelling at me.
“It’s too soon,” he confessed, his voice laced with guilt.
I didn’t want to hear anymore, so I crept back to the parking lot and started up my bike. He didn’t want me. Val didn’t want me. Even my brother didn’t want me. If he did, he would have found me by now.
Why was I still here?
Why was I still with Val? She had her daughter back. Well, maybe not back, back. But she would. Then there wouldn’t be any place left for me.
I rode to the mountain path and stopped at the bottom. I wasn’t ready to go back to the motel. But I had to give them something. I replaced my helmet with a pair of sunglasses and rode along the side of the path.
The feel of the branches swiping across my face felt like a shot of oxygen directly into my lungs. With every swat, every prick, every scratch across my face, I could breathe a little easier.
When I got to the top, I shut off my bike and sat there for a few minutes. What was I doing? Why did I do stupid shit that I knew would hurt me?
Following Cash into the cemetery was stupid. I deserved to hear the monsters screaming for doing something so dumb.
I pulled out Thorne’s knife and unbuttoned my pants. Before I could pull them down, I heard the pipes coming up the path.
Goddammit!
I should have gone back. Another stupid mistake that would cost me. I buttoned my jeans and slid the knife back into my pocket. I should ride back down the hill, but hell, today was just a day for mistakes.
I walked close to the edge and looked down. How easy would it be to just step off? To end the torture of their screams. To finally have some peace.
But what about Thorne?
Fuck Thorne! Where the hell was he? Maybe Val was right. Maybe he was dead and I just couldn’t let go. Just maybe hereally did leave me because I was too much work. A burden he didn’t ask for.
“Rose.”
I jumped at his voice. Keeping my back to him, I wrapped my arms around my waist. Holding on tight, hoping to keep him from hearing the screams.
“I saw you leaving the cemetery.”
I closed my eyes and took a step forward. Cash grabbed me and pulled me back against his chest. “What the fuck, Rosie?” he hissed into my ear. He dragged me away from the edge. I hadn’t intended on going over. I just needed some distance between us.
I hadn’t realized he was so close. Somehow, he always snuck up on me. He rested his chin on my head, and I scrunched my eyes closed tight. I told myself he didn’t understand what he was doing to me. That if he knew how much it hurt to feel him against me, to have his arms around me knowing he would never be mine was almost more than I could bear.
“Talk to me.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t. He wouldn’t understand. I wanted to, though. I wanted to tell him everything.
“Baby, talk to me,” he whispered.
“Don’t,” I hissed and wrenched out of his arms. I stomped back to my bike. And he was right behind me. Reaching forward, he grabbed my key again. Damn his long legs and arms.
“Rosie, talk to me.”
I swung around. “Why? Talk about what?” I asked, throwing my hands wide.
“What the fuck happened to your face?” His fingers traced over the scratches. “Is this from the path?”
All I could do was nod. I couldn’t tell him I did it on purpose. That I needed to feed the monsters that had woken as I listened to him talk to her.
“Why were you at the cemetery?” he asked.
