The question stopped his lungs. She’d asked it so simply, as if she were asking if he thought it might rain, rather than if he’d ended the lives of other men. She’d asked… as if she already knew the answer.
He looked down at his plate, not really seeing it as he decided how to respond. For some reason, he had a driving need to tell her the truth. To allow her to know who he was and see if she’d abhor him for it.
“Some of them,” he said quietly as he looked up to see her expression. If anything, it grew softer. How was that possible? Why wasn’t she frightened by his confession? Had she not heard him?
“Why only some of them?”
He swallowed, disoriented by her apparent acceptance. Why wasn’t she running away from him? Or hiding? Or even cowering? “Some of them have been arrested.” It didn’t feel like an adequate response.
“I see.” She nodded and took another bite, as if this were a perfectly normal conversation. “That’s why you’re still there. Still doing the job that makes you miserable. That’s the thing you have to finish.”
He nodded, not understanding how she’d put that together so easily. “There’s just one man left who needs to be tracked down and arrested. The vicar.”
“And what about the man who hurt your sister? Was he arrested? Or did you kill him?”
“Neither.” He shook his head. “His money protected him from being arrested, and Samantha made me promise I’d let him live.”
“So he’s had no consequences?”
He huffed a cynical laugh. “I didn’t say that.” He’d paid the man more than one visit.
She nodded and then just popped the last of her scone into her mouth and wiped her fingers on her napkin.
“You don’t seem horrified, or even surprised, that I’ve killed men.”
She shrugged. “Should I be? I may have been in my own turmoil when you came into Auburn Ridge, but even to me, there was no doubt that your threat to end those men’s lives was not, in fact, a threat. It was a warning.”
“You’re surprisingly perceptive.”
“It’s the only way I got to know anything about anyone. I wasn’t allowed to interact with the people in my household, so instead, I observed them. I listened to their words and their tone and I watched their movements. I suppose I’ve had a lot of practice.”
“The knowledge that I would have killed them, that doesn’t scare you? Doesn’t make you worry that I might be violent with you?”
She shook her head.
“But it did scare you when I confronted the man by the flower shop.”
She shook her head again. “Quite the opposite, actually. It confirmed that my suspicions about your capabilities were correct.”
“I don’t understand. Why didn’t that frighten you?”
“In that moment, I saw what is undoubtedly only a glimpse of the strength you’re capable of, and yet you’ve never been anything but gentle with me.”
“But you flinched when I touched your back after that.”
“That wasn’t about you.” She sighed and fidgeted for a moment before explaining. ”I felt dirty. Unworthy of your kindness. There must have been something about me that enticed that man to touch me. A wickedness that draws men in perhaps? I worried… I still worry, if I’m honest, that it might be the same thing that’s happening with you. But with you, I just enjoy it too much to question it further.”
It wasn’t right that she thought those things about herself. He reached across the table to take her hand. “I promise it isn’t wickedness that draws me to you, Madelene. It’s your sweet, caring nature. Your curiosity, passion, and beauty. And more than anything, your trust. I don’t know why you trust me, but it makes me want you in ways I’ve never wanted anyone before. In ways I probably shouldn’t, but I just can’t seem to resist.”
“If you can’t resist, then how can you be so certain I haven’t bewitched you?”
Oh, she’d bewitched him, but not in the way she meant. He’d been worried about her giving him her heart, but he was the one in danger of falling. No one in his life knew who he truly was. Until now. Until her.
And even after everything he’d confessed, she still saw him not as a monster, but as a man.
Madelene had never experienced a picnic before. She’d read about them in books, but had never actually attended one herself. It was strange but wonderful. Eating while sitting on a blanket on the ground seemed somehow wrong, but doing it with Simon made it feel just right. Kind of like everything seemed to be with him.
Simon lounged on his side, the remaining bits of their lunch between them. They’d been there a few hours, and the sun was moving lower in the sky, but it still sparkled in his eyes as he laughed.
