“Is that what you plan to do with me? Find some family member willing to take me in?”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Presumably, any family you have will know your father. You’ll not be going back to him, but hopefully I can find someone who will be a good option.”
“He didn’t abuse me, Simon.”
“He may not have abused you physically, but he certainly mistreated you.”
Her brow scrunched as she worked through her thoughts. “He just did the best he could to teach me to keep my demons under control.”
“But that’s just it. There are no demons in you, Madelene.”
Her dark eyes moved over his face to his lips. “If that’s true, then why do I want you to kiss me again?”
Chapter
Five
Simon closed his eyes, and she knew she shouldn't have said that. Why couldn’t she seem to control herself? With her music teacher, it had been simple curiosity, but with Simon, she desperately wanted to feel his lips against hers again.
“Kissing is wonderful, Madelene, not evil. But it’s also something I shouldn’t be doing with you. I’m supposed to be keeping you safe, remember?”
“Is kissing dangerous then?”
A smile grew on his lips at her teasing. “It isn’t the kissing that’s the problem, it’s that it makes me want more.”
“Is there more?” Suddenly she wanted to know what that meant.
Simon stared into her eyes for a long moment, saying nothing. He gave a small shake of his head. “I think we should probably go up to bed. We could both use some sleep.”
Disappointment and shame settled in her chest. She nodded slowly and pushed herself to her feet. “I’m sorry, Simon. I won’t ask you for those things anymore.”
“Madelene, wait.” He approached her slowly, but she didn’t turn around. The weight of his hands settled on her shoulders, and he leaned in close to her ear. “Ask me again.” His warm breath feathered over her skin, and she’d never wanted anything more than for him to kiss her. But she shouldn’t, and on top of that, he didn’t want the same.
After a moment, she shook her head. “You insist that there are no demons in me, but I quite clearly want things I shouldn’t. I don’t want you to kiss me out of pity.”
He nudged her shoulders softly and she turned to face him. “If I’ve given you the impression that I do not wish to kiss you, I am sorry. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The trouble is, kissing you makes me want things that are not mine to take.”
“Perhaps, but they are mine to give, are they not? I may be naive, and I may have led a very sheltered life, but I am not a child. I’m not even a young woman. I’m thirty years old. I might even have more years than you. How old are you, Simon?”
A bashful grin grew on his face and she knew she was right. “Point taken.”
She raised her brow. “That wasn’t an answer to my question.”
His grin was still firmly in place, and a slight blush bloomed in his cheeks. “I’m twenty-nine.”
“Perhaps I should be the one concerned with protecting your virtue then.”
He threw his head back and laughed. His constant weariness finally faded as he smiled down at her.
He cupped his hand against her face and brushed his thumb over her cheek in a gesture that was achingly tender. “There is something I need to be upfront about before anything further happens between us. I am not the marrying type.”
“Well, perhaps I’m not the marrying type either.”
His smile faded just a bit. “I’m serious, Madelene. You’re right that you are a grown woman and capable of making your own decisions when it comes to your body. If you want to learn about the different kinds of pleasure it can be made to feel, I will be more than happy to show you while you’re here. But I will never be husband material, so just be sure you’re going in with your eyes open.”
Admittedly, she was a bit shocked by his offer, but more curious than ever. “Thank you for being honest.”
“With that in mind, I’d like you to sleep on it before you decide you want to do anything in the more category, but will you honor me with a goodnight kiss?”
