“I know now,” Deerhurst said softly. “I didn’t think the list would ever get out. Warrick misplaced it by accident.”
She was silent for a moment. “Do you agree with my supposed flaw?”
“No! Dammit, I love your laughter. I’ve never thought your laughter to be anything but musical.”
“And yet you allowed them to write those things because you what? Kissed me and didn’t want your friend tocourtme? Do you know how absurd that sounds?”
Maybe. Yes. No. He didn’t know. All he knew was that he loved this woman to distraction.
“We’re done, Deerhurst. Done. Do not court me. Do not call on me. Just stay on your side of the fence, and I shall stay on mine.”
That snapped him out of his thoughts.
“No.” He dragged both hands through his hair. “We’re not done, Phaedra. I made a mistake. We move past it. That’s how relationships work.”
“I cannot move past this.”
Deerhurst clenched his jaw. “Because I sat by while they made a list?”
“Because you betrayed me. I asked you about the wagers and you acted like you weren’t aware of anything. You pretended to be a hero when you were the villain all along.”
He couldn’t deny that. Deerhurst had always known he was a beast. Selfish in ways he couldn’t explain. And when he first glimpsed himself as a knight in her eyes, that selfishness hadn’t gone away. It had only expanded, demanding to occupy all of her, keep her by his side.
“I didn’t want you to believe me to be a scoundrel, Phaedra. The moment I found out the list had been lost and then resurfaced in the book, I decided to protect you.”
She nodded. “Protect me from the very wolves you set on my trail, right?”
“Yes.”
She retreated two steps.
He stiffened. “Phaedra...”
“Did you ever, at any time, have any other motive to approach me other than being my so-called protector.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“All this time, all the moments we spent together—it was all just because of that list.”
“At first—”
“Stop,” she interrupted him. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Love—”
“No! You made a fool of me, Deerhurst. Nothing you say can convince me that you meant a word you said in our time together. I don’t trust you.”
“You can still trust me.”
She shook her head furiously. “Don’t ever approach me again.”
Panic had him launching forward. With a yelp, she pulled a pistol from her skirts and pointed it straight at him.
Deerhurst’s blood ran cold.
He held his palms out in surrender. “What are you doing, love?”
“Consider this a warning, Deerhurst. Stay away from me or I will shoot you.”
