“Not what I think? You can’t begin to fathom what’s running through my mind. Laughter to scare an alley cat to death? I suppose I should be grateful that is the only flaw you could come up with. But you know what? When you think about it,thatwas the flaw you could come up with? My laughter? How simpleminded,narrow, and silly are four grown men. Truly, it boggles my mind.”
Deerhurst winced.
“We only meant to cheer Avondale up,” Warrick defended. Of course, it was the wrong thing to say. “His mother drafted the list.”
Deerhurst cursed.
Her gaze settled on Warrick. “Oh? Then you find it entertaining to list out our incredible flaws? Did you have a good laugh at them?”
“I—”
“A woman has been married off because of your entertainment! Did you know that?”
“I heard Lady Harriet married Leeds,” Deerhurst said.
“Yes.” Her eyes met his. “All for a little jest. Were you just going to keep me in the dark forever?”
“No,” Deerhurst said firmly. “I always meant to tell you.”
“When?” she pressed. “After we married?”
Deerhurst grimaced as a vein nearly exploded in the delicate arch of her neck.
“You’d have been freed from the wagers then.”
“Bloody hell, man,” Warrick muttered under his breath, loud enough for Deerhurst to hear.
“But not from the comment you made. Not from everyone forever listening to and weighing my laughter against an alley cat. Do you even know how an alley cat sounds?”
Deerhurst thought it best not to answer that.
“I thought not.” She laughed then, not a sound he’d ever heard before. Not the carefree melody he’d become so familiar with—that he adored. This laugh was a mirthless thing that chilled his heart. “Well, congratulations, Deerhurst, you succeeded where every man before you failed. You tricked me into believing you were someone you’re not.”
“I’m not like those men, Phaedra.”
She nodded. “You’re right. You are much worse.”
Panic rose. He couldn’t lose her. Not like this. “I didn’t make the comment about you. I enjoy your laughter.”
“Did you speak up against what was said?”
No, he hadn’t.
Warrick rose to his feet. “I’ll leave you two to work through your, er, discussion. I have business I must see to myself.”
Neither spoke as Warrick all but fled the room. Deerhurst came around the desk to stand before Phaedra. She had every right to be angry. He was in the wrong. He’d been selfish since the night they’d met. He’d only wanted to keep her close, no matter what.
“Phaedra, that list was a damn mistake. I didn’t laugh, I didn’t find it tasteful either.”
She gave him an astonished look. “And yet you did nothing to stop it.”
“Becauseyouwere on the list.”
“Why thank you,” she snapped. “I feel so honored.”
Deerhurst inhaled deeply. He couldn’t afford to lose his cool. “It was after our first kiss,” he explained. “When Avondale showed us the list, I was aghast to find you were on it. I couldn’t explain the why of it then, but I was afraid Avondale would choose you. So, I stayed quiet and let the shenanigans play out. I don’t even know what was said about the other women on the list. I was too concerned with thoughts of you.”
“That doesn’t make what you did after right. You lied to me.”
