Chapter 17
He had said nay.
Resounding and final.
Nay.
Was that not a knife to the heart?
Honoria felt sick to her stomach. Bile rose in her throat. Her heart was beating way too fast; she felt dizzy from lack of breath.
She had known if Lash rejected her, it would sting. That was why she hadn’t declared she wanted him and him alone—full stop. But she hadn’t anticipated that he would decline toescorther to Edinburgh. And she certainly hadn’t expected her heart to crack open when he did.
Why did all the men in her life insist on denying her simple wishes? Was it so hard to grant this one thing?
Except she knew it wasn’t truly simple.
Damn him for being right!
A door opened and slammed shut in the distance. Honoria rushed down the steps and quickened her pace. She did not want Lash to follow her or see the sudden tears threatening to spill.
Due to him, all she could think about was her brothers’ reaction upon discovering their wee sisters had run off to Edinburgh with Lash Ruthven—a Rom. They’d be furious, worried, and perhaps even devastated if they discovered them gone.
Her brothers’ faces flitting through her mind. She pushed them aside. For once she hadn’t wanted to think about someone else, she had only wanted to think of herself.
Lash had ruined that.
Aye, she could admit the situation was a bitcomplicated—she was coming to loathe that word—but why did she always have to be left behind?
After Ewan’s death, her brothers hadn’t tolerated anything that might cause her harm, which she had understood,then. And of course, they would never recover if something happened to her or Isla. But they could not keep her locked away in a castle any longer, either.
She had thought Lash would be the one person to understand how she felt—this restless need inside her to go, to explore.
Growing up with ten brothers had taught her to fight for what she wanted even if she failed each time. But now, with Lash, it felt different. All the fight had left her when he declined her request. It felt almost . . .over.
Nay. Nay, it could not be over.
What was over was her reliance on men. She was done offering up her dreams. Done having them crushed.
Air. She needed air.
Dashing through the halls and down more steps, she headed straight for the stables. It was imperative that she escaped the castle’s stifling stone walls right that minute.
She’d go for a ride.
Hugh’s rotten orders be damned. She would remain on their property; he would have to be content with that. She burst into the stables, drawing the eyes of Mr. Ross.
Splendid.
Just what she needed—a disapproving groom.
“Please saddle Bach, Mr. Ross, I am going for a ride.”
The groom’s eyes sharpened. “My lady, Lord Hugh gave orders no one is to leave the castle.”
“I am not leaving the property, Mr. Ross. I merely wish to go for a ride within its boundaries.”
“My lady—”
